January 30, 2020
Are you actually listening when someone is talking to you, or just waiting for your turn to…
November 28, 2019
Comedian Maz Jobrani tries to be more thankful for the good things in his life by writing…
Shortly after I got to ABC as a young ambitious reporter, 9/11 happened and I spent a lot of time after 9/11 in war zones… Afghanistan, Pakistan, Israel, the West Bank, Gaza, Iraq six times.
When I got home from one of those runs in Iraq I got depressed, without knowing I was depressed. I was having trouble getting out of bed and I felt like I had a low-grade fever all the time. And I did a very dumb thing which is I started to self-medicate with recreational drugs including cocaine.
I was anchoring the news updates on Good Morning America that’s the person who comes on at the top of each hour and reads some headlines, like a two-minute job. But I had done it before so I didn’t have any reason to foresee what was about to happen which is that I was just overtaken by this big bolt of fear. My mouth dried up, my lungs seized up, my heart was racing, and my palms sweating. I couldn’t talk.
It was horrible, you know. Feels like you’re dying, you know. The body’s freaking out. The mind is freaking out because the body is freaking out and then the body is freaking out more because the mind is freaking out and it’s just, it’s spiral. And then the whole time it’s just compounded by the fact that millions of people are watching, you know and I’m thinking my career is going to end and I had to quit right in the middle.
Dacher Keltner: Having a panic-attack in front of millions of viewers set Dan Harris on a path to seeking help for his depression and anxiety. He found it with meditation which he says makes him at least 10% appier, which is also the name of his best-selling book and podcast.
On every episode of our show, we have a happiness guinea pig try out a research-based practice designed to increase happiness, resilience, kindness, or connection and then we dive into the science behind why it works.
Today it’s a real pleasure to welcome my friend Dan Harris as our happiness guinea pig. Dan is anchor for ABC News and author of the books 10% Happier and Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics. Dan, it’s great to have you on The Science of Happiness.
Dan Harris: Great to be on. Your thinking has been very influential
on my thinking so nice to be connected again.
Dacher Keltner: You know I wanted to sort of move into the deep
background of your engagement in the contemplative world and
the science that led to 10% Happier. You visited my lab and you were kind of
searching. What was up?
Dan Harris: You know after I had a panic attack and went to a doctor who is
an expert in panic and he asked me if I do drugs and I said yeah and he said OK,
you know moron, mystery solved. And he pointed out that if you do cocaine with
some regularity you will boost the amount of adrenalin in your brain
artificially and that will make you more likely to have a panic attack. So that
was a big aha moment for me and it kind of set me off on a weird windy path
that ultimately led me to meditation.
Dacher Keltner: We’ve been doing a lot of research on getting
veterans outdoors and in nature. And their profile sounds in some ways like
your profile which is you know you see the atrocities of war maybe you’re
affected physically or you affect somebody and you turn to self-medication and
tough stuff follows. What was your what was your first taste of meditation?
Dan Harris: I was reading a book by John Kabat Zinn, “Wherever You
Go, There You Are” and I don’t know why I just said “you know what? I’m
going I’m just going to try this now.” And I got up off of my chair and didn’t tell anybody
because it would have been very embarrassing. And I went into the room locked
the door and sat on the floor and started to meditate.
Dacher Keltner: A closet meditator!
Dan Harris: I was a closet meditator. And you know that first experience is really intense because you just see how crazy you are. And that’s the point, actually. You know people often think that when they sit to meditate and realize, “Oh my god I’m just so all over the place”. It’s like trying to hold up a live fish in your hand. It’s really hard. People think oh I’m a failure I can’t do this, but actually no it’s seeing how crazy you are is the…is a victory. It’s hugely important because when you start to see how crazy you are the craziness doesn’t own you as much and so that was very clear to me because I was doing it in the right context. I had read John’s book and so I understood that seeing that you’re distracted means you’re doing it correctly.
Dacher Keltner: Yeah. You are not your thoughts as John Kabat Zinn says. You know, I want to return to anxiety because it’s interesting in our world, you know in many different worlds of people working hard and high stress work. that’s tough on your cardiovascular system and when you have one and you realize how exhausting it is, you sense that. How did how did this kind of immersion in meditation and the contemplative approaches, how did it work with your anxiety?
Dan Harris: I have suffered from anxiety and depression, so panic
is just kind of like accelerated anxiety. But I have had anxiety and depression,
which are often morbid to use a medical term of art since my whole life.
There’s been a bunch of science looking at meditation. I think it’s still very much in its early stages and often sort
of overhyped by people like me you know are enthusiastic about meditation. But
one of the areas where I think the research is the strongest is around
meditation’s benefits for people with depression and anxiety.
Dacher Keltner: I agree. I totally agree.
Dan Harris: And the mechanism from my personal experience is right around what you said before that we are not our thoughts. So anxiety is future-oriented thinking, worrying, handwringing, and through the boosted self-awareness that one gets through meditation you start to realize, oh yeah this is just, these are just thoughts.
Dan Harris: Maybe they’re connected to reality or maybe not or maybe. Even if they’re connected to reality, I’ve thought about it enough, it’s time to let it go. And that is that is incredibly useful.
Dacher Keltner: Yeah I agree. What did you build up that led you in terms of a practice that led to 10% happier?
Dan Harris: You know, I think there’s this sub conscious assumption that happiness happens to us. That it’s dependent upon, you know, external factors like the quality of our childhood, the quality of our work life, our marriage all of which are super important. But in fact what the science is showing us is that happiness is a skill that you can work on, that you can generate just the way you work on your bicep in the gym and, you know, we spend so much time on our
bodies, on our stock portfolios, on our cars, and on our whatever and almost no
time on the one filter through which we experience everything and that’s our
minds. And so the idea that the mind is trainable that these qualities that we
want—happiness, calm, peace, generosity, compassion, patience—that these
aren’t factory settings that can’t be tinkered with that these are actually
skills. That is a really radical and empowering notion and so I see that as the
common denominator of everything I’m doing.
I embraced mindfulness meditation because there are thousands of flavors of meditation. But I liked mindfulness
because while it is derived from Buddhism it is thoroughly secularized and
there’s no metaphysical claims, no religious lingo.
I started with five to ten minutes a day of basic mindfulness meditation. Then ultimately kind of went to a half hour a day and then a couple of years ago I took a big leap which I moved to two hours a day.
Dacher Keltner: Are you serious?
Dan Harris: Yeah which is going to sound impressive but it’s actually not so impressive once you know that, I, my rule is I can do as many doses as I want, as many sits to use a meditative term
of art, as I want throughout the day wherever I want, whenever I want, and my
goal is just to accumulate up to two hours over the course of the day.
Dacher Keltner: Now what
are all your colleagues out of New York City and the hard charging world of
media. What are they saying about Dan Harris?
Dan Harris: What are they saying behind my back? I don’t know. I mean people certainly make fun of me to my
face. But it’s become a lot less so. I started meditating before it got cool so
that actually, you know I took a lot of crap for that. Now, you know, meditation
is kind of mainstream. And I get people making fun of me, you know when I’m,
you know, being a jerk which I definitely still have the capacity to do. You
know, people will with relish point out you know the deviance from my core
principles. So yeah it’s kind of mixed.
Dacher Keltner: Yeah. Well it’s good to hear that it’s, it’s penetrating in even in New York City.
Dan Harris: We have a meditation room at ABC News on the 13th floor of the building right around the corner from
my office. And I had nothing to do with setting it up.
Dacher Keltner: Wow impressive.
Dan Harris: And George Stephanopoulos, Robin Roberts many of my colleagues are meditators.
Dacher Keltner: Ah excellent. So Dan as our guinea pig, you chose the Loving-Kindness meditation. Why did you choose this exercise?
Dan Harris: You know I would say that the thing I notice the most
about my interior life is…well one of the things I notice the most is that I
definitely have a strong streak of anger.
I actually recently wrote a book, in which I talked about my grandfather who was a really angry guy. Robert Johnson.
And now I actually have a little name when I notice myself getting angry if I
catch it I can just say oh there’s Robert. it’s a little cartoonish but it
really works to just not be so hostile to my own hostility and and to see it
before I do something that you know ruins the next 48 hours of my marriage or
Dacher Keltner: You know it’s interesting on another episode we
talked about how beneficial it is with these negative states that are built
into us by evolution, to name them, and dramatize them, call them other names
than your own self. Get a perspective on it it seems like that may have been
what you’re up to. Which is cool.
Dan Harris: I find that naming these characters creates some distance
and helps the whole game here is so, you know, there’s no point getting upset
about what your wiring is. We’re bequeathed a mind by evolution and by our
family, and genetics, and all this stuff so there’s no point like fighting it
with too much violence, if any. But it makes sense to get some distance from it
so you’re not owned by it, and that I think this tool helps with that.
So my practice is the loving-kindness practice and the way it works is you
systematically envision beings. People are animals so you start with usually you start
with yourself that’s the classical order. You envision yourself and then you
repeat silently four phrases to yourself. “May you be happy,”
“May you be safe,” “May you be healthy”, “May you live
with ease.” And then you move on to a benefactor, somebody who’s been a
mentor, something like that. My case I usually rotate between one of my
parents, my brother, a dear friend, that often is you know a pet
or a child. In this case my child who’s 3.
Dacher Keltner: Oh, congratulations.
Dan Harris: Thank you. Yeah, he’s diabolical. And then we move on to, there’s no place for this in the traditional order but I often slot my wife in right here. And then the next
one is supposed to be a neutral person somebody you see but often overlook. And
the next one is a sometimes referred to as an enemy which sounds a little harsh
for me so often it’s sometimes referred to as a difficult person. And then
finally all beings everywhere. And I’ve tried of late but in many ways
accelerated by your assignment to just really try to do it everyday. And
there’s always anger there to work with.
Dacher Keltner: So let’s talk about that part. So what was that
mental state and process like?
Dan Harris: So you’re envisioning the person and you’re trying
to wish them well, and my first instinct is, I don’t want this person to be
happy. This person has caused me a lot of suffering and I don’t want her to be happy.
That’s my first instinct.That’s just another thing to be mindful of.
That’s just that’s just Robert Johnson. Mindfulness which is what we do through
which is what we generate through the basic mindfulness meditation of watching
your breath and then when you get distracted you start again that boosts your
mindfulness, your self awareness. And then this practice is a compassion
practice and they intertwine really nicely because you can be mindful of lots
of things that come up while doing a compassion practice and that can
supercharge the whole thing. So I see oh, that’s just Robert Johnson being
vindictive and so over the course of repeating these phrases for the difficult
person, then I think some of the anger you can see it for what it is and let it go and really connect to the fact that you
know this is not my phraseology here I’m stealing this from generations of
teachers, but every living being shares at least one thing in common, which
we all want, to be happy. You know we all have basic needs. And once you cut
through some of the personal history that I may have with this difficult person,
you can, through the this this practice which I often refer to as Valentine’s
Day with a knife to your throat, which you know it’s a treacly annoying practice
but it is effective, and there’s science to show that it is effective. You can
start to cut away, to let that other nonsense fall away, and connect to the core
And the anger will come back as soon as I’m done with the practice and this person happens to cross my mind
again… the anger can be right there but it’s a little different.
Dacher Keltner: How did it feel different in this case? Did you
feel like you kind of had shifted your perspective on the individual?
Dan Harris: I think it’s a process. I think it’s a process. It’s
not magic you know, it’s not like you do it once and it’s it’s…You over
time are shifting continually shifting and then you know and then reverting
because something, some new outrage happens and you know get angry and say the
thing that’s you shouldn’t say or whatever but it’s just a process. But it
makes you better. I mean this is why I am so married to this whole 10 percent
happier idea which is you know, that there are no miracle cures here. But over
time you just start to marginally improve.
Dacher Keltner: Yeah no, well put. So you’ve been one of our real
champions of the contemplative approaches but you feel on occasion you
encounter kind of the PR problems that meditation has. What do you think the
biases against meditation are?
Dan Harris: Well I think I think they’re starting to go away.
Really, I do, because I think that we now have these aspirational figures in
athletics and entertainment and science who are normalising the thing.
But one is folks who are unaware of all the you know all of the aforementioned aspirational figures
who were doing it who just think it’s B.S.. this is I think a smaller and
smaller group all the time but it’s still a pretty big group, if you look at
the whole culture.
And I think the answer to that is
pretty simple, which is, you know, the way to deal with this
misconception is talk about the science and all the interesting effective
people who were doing this and the fact that it doesn’t, you don’t have to
believe in anything, you dont have to join a group, you don’t have to sit in a
The other is among people who want to meditate, there is this sense that well I can’t do it
because I can’t clear my mind. It’s important to point out to people that the whole game in meditation is not to clear your mind. That’s impossible. If you sit and start meditating and all
thoughts evaporate, you’re either enlightened or you’re dead. The point in
meditation is not to clear the mind, it’s to <em>focus</em> the mind for nanoseconds at
a time off and on your breath or something like that, and then when you get
distracted start again, and again, and again.
And then that is a bicep curl for your
brain and this is what shows up on the brain scan.
Dacher Keltner: Yeah no well put. Well Dan, thanks for being on our show and thanks for being our science of happiness
guinea pig. We hope you can be a guinea pig some other time as well.
Dan Harris: Huge pleasure.
Dacher Keltner: Dan
Harris did a loving kindness meditation practice and as a meditator has
encountered his fair share of skeptics and like a lot of us he turns to science
as a way to really add to the legitimacy of a practice like loving kindness
which can sound a little woo woo or new agey. One of my favorite studies of
loving kindness is a study by Barb Fredriksson who’s a professor of psychology
at the University of North Carolina and really a pioneer in the scientific
study of happiness. Her study was published in 2008 and it really has become a
centerpiece in this literature.
middle aged adults who were working at a large tech company in Michigan and she
randomly assigned them to one of two groups.
One group started the Lovingkindness meditation right away and then over the
eight weeks what they did about 15 to 20 minutes a day is these guided
meditations, and they’re just like what Dan described which is first you wish
yourself well and happiness and that you won’t suffer. And then gradually you
call to mind as you practice this loving kindness other people who you really
care about are who are in your social network and direct a warm and
compassionate feelings to those other people and that’s really the
lovingkindness practice that they did over the course of eight weeks. The other
group of people in this study were randomly assigned to a waitlist control,
where they did the meditation after two months. What Barb found was which was
really impressive is that the people in the loving kindness condition randomly
assigned over the course of the eight weeks were reporting more positive
emotions that we talk about on the science of happiness—things like more
gratitude more hope and even more awe and joy just in their daily lives.
Secondly what they found, and this is really in keeping with
Barb’s thinking about what positive emotions do for us is that practicing
loving kindness over the course of eight weeks led to other kinds of
improvements in their lives so the people who practice loving kindness felt
more purpose, they reported better physical health, they were more accepting of
themselves, and they had more positive relationships with other people, and all
of these benefits brought about by loving kindness led to actually feeling
better about life and reduce symptoms of depression. The momentary feelings of
joy, and gratitude, and awe, wonder brought about by loving kindness had these
downstream benefits over time. So it’s really impressive to show that just as a
brief practice of loving kindness with ordinary people like you and me who
aren’t jetting off to the Himalayas or taking large chunks of time off from
work has these benefits over the course of eight weeks, really lead to really
important changes. You might even call them transformations in their lives.
So what his study tells us is that just a few minutes a day
of loving kindness not only boosts happiness, but it also brings these other
benefits for your sense of purpose, your life satisfaction, your relationships,
and even your physical health.