The holidays can be a lonely time of year for those who are far from loved ones—or even just longing for closer relationships. They have plenty of company, holidays aside: In a recent Gallup poll, 20% of U.S. adults said they felt lonely “a lot of the day yesterday.”

Two friends embracing outdoors

While there might be many steps we can take to encourage connection, on both individual and societal levels, a big new study suggests there is one step anyone can take right now to blunt the pain of isolation: giving thanks.

Gratitude around the world

College of Charleston researchers James B. Hittner and Calvin D. Widholm collected 26 studies of gratitude and loneliness involving nearly 10,000 people around the world—from the U.S. to India to Portugal to Nigeria. Participants averaged 35 years old but largely ranged from college-aged to middle-aged adults. Then, Hittner and Widholm conducted a “meta-analysis” of all the studies together, which can provide stronger evidence for a finding than one study alone.

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Their results suggest that grateful people tend to be less lonely—no matter their age, their gender, or whether they live in the U.S. or elsewhere. If someone was above average in gratitude, they had a 62% chance of being below average in loneliness.

So why would gratitude, a positive emotion where we recognize the benefits we receive from other people in our life, help us be less lonely?

This meta-analysis cannot prove that gratitude reduces loneliness rather than vice versa, because it’s only based on correlational surveys. But several other studies have found that gratitude practices like writing gratitude letters or simply saying thank you can lessen loneliness. And, to Hittner, this seems like the more likely explanation.

Loneliness, research suggests, is ultimately about how we perceive our relationships and whether they measure up to what we want. And “if one is grateful, then what that should be facilitating are richer, stronger social relationships,” says Hittner.

How gratitude alleviates loneliness

Why? If we’re gratitude-minded, we tend to be more tuned into the good things in our lives—so we’re more likely to notice when our partner makes us a cup of coffee in the morning, or a coworker goes out of their way to help us finish a report.

That’s important, because part of the hallmark of loneliness is a distorted way of thinking where we hone in on negative feedback from other people and worry that they are judging us. Rather than staying home and isolated, as the lonely sometimes do, gratitude may actually help us seek out the support we need.

Another explanation might be the way gratitude inspires us to action, starting with thanking the person who helped us—a gesture that can strengthen the relationship further. Or we might pay it forward and help someone else, which could bolster a completely different relationship.

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More broadly, gratitude just feels good—and when we feel good, we are generally more open to the world, to new perspectives, and to new relationships. One study found that grateful people were more “psychologically flexible,” able to nimbly cope with adversity and act in service of their values and sense of meaning in life.

Hittner believes that this openness to taking in new ideas, meeting new people, and having new experiences is one good antidote to loneliness. He also suggests that anyone who is teaching or sharing gratitude practices might encourage people to focus their appreciation on relationships to get an extra anti-loneliness boost. And researchers who are testing gratitude practices should measure the benefits for loneliness, as well.

“Loneliness is such an important outcome, and it correlates with depression and anxiety,” says Hittner. Aiming your gratitude at other people could be a natural way to support your mental health.

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