One in six Americans feel lonely or isolated most of the time.
This finding comes from a survey conducted in September 2024 by the Pew Research Center, which queried over 6,200 adults in English and Spanish about their well-being and social connections.
The report, titled Men, Women and Social Connections, reveals how different groups of Americans are faring these days by looking at trends across gender, age, and other factors. In the process, it reveals how complicated loneliness can be.
Men aren’t lonelier—but they are less connected
Part of the impetus for the report was the so-called male loneliness epidemic—the struggles that modern men seem to having around connection and intimacy. Since 1990, according to the 2021 American Perspectives Survey, American men’s friendship groups have declined more than women’s, although guys arguably started in better shape. In the Pew report, 20% of men said they had no close friends, compared to 17% of women.
Pew, however, found that women are just as lonely as men. Across men and women, 16% of adults felt lonely all or most of the time, about 38% were sometimes lonely, and 47% were hardly ever or never lonely.
At the same time, though, there are some indications that men are less socially connected than women. When they need emotional support, about three-quarters of men and women are very likely to rely on their spouse or partner; no gender differences there.
But for other sources of support—a parent, friend, other family member, or online community—women are more likely to ask for help than men. At the high end, 44% of women are very likely to reach out to family members beyond their parents or spouses, compared to only 26% of men. Even thinking about their fathers, almost a third of women are very likely to reach out for support, compared to 27% of men. Notably, 22% of women are very likely to reach out to a mental health professional, vs. only 16% of men.
“Even if men aren’t feeling lonely more often than women, when they do feel like they need support, they may not be getting it to the extent that women are,” says Kim Parker, Pew’s director of social trends research and a coauthor of the report.
Gender norms around giving and receiving support may be playing a role here, based on the sources of support people reach out to. For example, nearly half of respondents were very likely to reach out to their mothers when they need emotional support, while only 28% said the same about their fathers.
“Reaching out is a soft skill. It suggests that you have needs, so men are definitely going to have a hard time reaching out,” says researcher Niobe Way, who has been interviewing boys and young men for nearly four decades. “They’ve been taught by our culture that it’s not only girly, it’s lame.”
In general, men also tend to keep in touch less with their friends. While 77% of women interact with friends at least a few times a week—whether by text, phone, video, social media, or in person—only 70% of men do the same.
The effects of these differences in support and socializing may not be showing up in how lonely men feel, but they may be showing up in other ways.
The younger you are, the lonelier
Pew separated respondents into four age groups: younger than 30, 30s and 40s, 50 to 64, and 65 and older. As you travel through those age groups, fewer and fewer people feel lonely or isolated most of the time, from nearly a quarter of Americans under 30 to 20% in their 30s and 40s, 11% of people ages 50 to 64, and just 6% of over 65s.
But younger people appear to stay in touch with friends more, at least digitally. Through text or social media, more Americans under 30 are communicating with a friend at least a few times a week compared to each older age group in turn. They’re also more likely to see a friend in person at least a few times a week compared to adults ages 30-64. Are these connections not enough to stave off loneliness?
“Young people may be connecting all the time with the outside world, but that might not really be feeding them,” says Parker.
It may not be that surprising that older people are faring better. Research suggests that loneliness is more about expectations than reality—about how much social connection we have vs. how much we want, rather than the number of minutes we spend in the company of others. So it’s possible that people over 65 may simply be more content with the connections they have.
Still, these findings add to the worries that young people are not OK, which was a theme of last year’s World Happiness Report.
Finding places to connect
The survey also asked respondents what they thought about organized social groups and spaces meant for only women or only men. That might include moms’ or dads’ groups, women’s meetups, or religious organizations.
These groups and places, at their best, can give people opportunities to strengthen connections and fight loneliness. Society’s opinions about them matter—because it can influence whether we choose to participate, and how we think others might perceive us for doing so.
In general, Pew found that women’s-only groups and places are looked upon more favorably by both men and women. Women and men believed that women’s groups benefitted women and society more than men’s groups benefitted men and society.
Interestingly, these differences were even more pronounced among Democratic respondents, whereas Republican respondents saw similar value in men’s and women’s groups. Democrats, who are more likely to believe women face a great deal of discrimination these days, seem to be more skeptical about all-male spaces.
These findings give us a peek into the state of loneliness in America today and the ways it might be shaped by our social norms. For an individual, fighting loneliness might look like going out to make friends and questioning some unhelpful beliefs that we have. But for a society, there’s a lot more we could do to support our universal human needs—needs that transcend gender, politics, and age—for connection and belonging.
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