Where’s Joseph?
May 14th, 2008 by Jeremy Adam Smith | Tags: marriage, gender roles, family, children, parenting | Leave a Comment »I’ve mentioned Jessica DeGroot from The Third Path Institute in these annals before and here I am doing so once again… We had been discussing some of the factors that help dads get more involved with their families. Here’s #1 on her list:
“I think the number one reason men in professional jobs get more involved with family is because of the mother’s attitude - for some reason she feels very strongly about having the dad involved.”
Jessica’s assessment seems to cut to the core of the issue. If moms really want dads to get more involved with the family then they have to be not only willing to give up some of the power in their ’separate sphere’ of the home, but they must expect that involvement. If this expectation isn’t there then the likelihood, especially given the current attitude of most companies, is that most dads will fall back into the traditional role of detached breadwinner.
This is very controversial idea in many circles—so controversial, that I am taking the unusual step (for a blog entry!) of providing endnotes citing research in order to support the case I’m about to make. When some people hear that “the mother’s attitude” plays a big role in determining father involvement, they think it means that we are “blaming the victim”—that is, blaming mothers for the disproportionate share of childrearing that they do.
