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Victor Counted is a psychological scientist whose research across 40 African countries offers a data-rich rethinking of flourishing on the continent. His findings challenge the dominant narrative that Africa is “lagging behind” in development by showing a more nuanced picture of what it means to live a good life. We asked him more.

The Conversation: What is flourishing?

Victor Counted: Flourishing is more than economic growth or individual happiness. It’s a multidimensional state of being that reflects how people feel about their lives and how well their lives are actually going. So it also measures people’s values within their community.

The idea of well-being often carries a Eurocentric emphasis on the individual—personal satisfaction, autonomy, achievement. Flourishing accounts for how whole a person is in relation to their environment.

It includes the social, spiritual, and ecological contexts in which one lives. So, it’s not just about how one feels, but how one lives—fully, meaningfully, and in a satisfying relationship with the world around us.

TC: What’s the Global Flourishing Study?

VC: The Global Flourishing Study tries to measure global patterns of human flourishing. It’s an ongoing five-year longitudinal study in over 200,000 participants across 22 countries.

I was one of the team of global scholars brought together to examine the trends on what it means to live well across cultures and life circumstances.

The study identifies six key dimensions of flourishing:

• Happiness and life satisfaction
• Mental and physical health
• Meaning and purpose
• Character and virtue
• Close social relationships
• Financial and material stability

Participants rate how they’re doing in each of these areas on a scale from 0 to 10. Further questions capture experiences related to trust, loneliness, hope, resilience, and other related well-being variables.

                     

Of the 22 nations, five were African: Nigeria, Kenya, South Africa, Tanzania, and Egypt.

While these countries didn’t top the global rankings (Indonesia and Mexico did), Nigeria, Kenya, and Egypt all reported relatively high flourishing scores, especially when well-being was considered apart from financial status.

Nigeria, for example, ranked fifth globally in flourishing scores that excluded financial indicators—ahead of many wealthier nations. Nigerians indicated strengths in social relationships, character, and virtues (like forgiveness or helping others). But potential areas of growth included financial well-being, housing, ethnic discrimination, and education.

Overall, this suggests that while material resources matter, they’re not the only thing that determines well-being. Kenya ranked seventh, Egypt 10th, Tanzania 11th, and South Africa 13th. Each showed unique strengths in areas like meaning, social connection, or mental health.

TC: You did a separate study on flourishing in Africa. What did you find?

VC: In a 2024 study, we analyzed data from the Gallup World Poll (2020–2022) to explore 38 indicators of well-being across 40 African countries.

This study offered a more detailed and culture-sensitive picture of how Africans experience and prioritize flourishing. The dimensions explored were derived from both local and universal sources, allowing for regionally relevant insights.

We found that African populations often score high in meaning, character, and social relationships—despite economic hardship. This offers an important corrective to Western assumptions about well-being.

Some of our key findings were:

• There is significant diversity between and within African countries. Mauritius consistently ranked highest in life evaluations (overall satisfaction with their lives), while countries like Sierra Leone and Zimbabwe scored lowest.
• East African countries such as Rwanda and Ethiopia showed strong performance in social well-being indicators (like feeling respected or learning new things daily) even when economic indicators were low.
• Countries in West Africa, such as Senegal and Ghana, scored high in emotional well-being, with many people reporting positive daily emotions like enjoyment and laughter.
• Southern African nations, despite challenges like income inequality, displayed resilience through strong community ties and cultural practices rooted in the philosophy of ubuntu.

The results reinforced that flourishing in Africa cannot only be reduced to gross domestic product (GDP) per capita (a measure of the average economic output per person in a country)—nor to Western norms of success.

TC: What can African countries focus on to flourish?

VC: In my view, the path to greater flourishing lies in embracing local knowledge and investing in culturally relevant development priorities. Instead of following Western pathways—centered on individual advancement—Africa can model alternative flourishing pathways that reflect what matters most to African people.

1. Prioritize local knowledge systems. African ideas about a connected society—like ubuntu (southern Africa), ujamaa (east Africa), teranga or wazobia (west Africa), and al-musawat wal tarahum (north Africa) teach people to care for each other and live in peace. These values help people live meaningful lives and can inform leadership and legislation.

2. Redefine development metrics. Western development models focus on individual achievement, economic output, and material consumption. GDP per capita fails to capture the everyday realities and aspirations of African communities. We should also measure things like how happy people are, how hopeful they feel about the future, how strong and resilient their communities are, and how clean, safe, and dignifying their living environments are.

This is not a new idea—for years development scholars have called for a shift away from narrow economic indicators toward a focus on human dignity, agency, and the real opportunities people have to pursue the lives they value. What’s new is the growing availability of data and the momentum to take these alternative metrics seriously in shaping national policies and priorities.

3. Invest in education for character development. Quality education is essential to unlocking the continent’s potential to flourish. But Africa needs more than just academic skills and workforce readiness—it needs a strategy for intentional development of values and habits that shape how a person thinks, feels, and acts with integrity.

Part of the problem lies in how the humanities—fields like history, literature, philosophy, and religious studies—are often undervalued or underfunded in education systems. But it is precisely these disciplines that nurture moral imagination, critical reflection, and civic responsibility. We need educational models that form not just workers, but whole persons—people who can think ethically, act responsibly, and lead with character in their communities.

TC: What does Africa offer the world in terms of flourishing?

VC: Africa is not waiting to be saved. Across the continent, people are building communities of care, cultivating joy amid hardship, and passing on values of unity, faith, and compassion. This is what development looks like when rooted in human dignity.

Africa’s flourishing goals offer an alternative vision for development—one that starts with what Africa already has, not what it lacks. These are locally emic aspirations for well-being. They are shaped by Africa’s indigenous knowledge systems, cultural values, and religious/spiritual traditions. Pursuing these goals means prioritizing wholeness over wealth, community over consumption, and resilience over rescue.

The continent has so much to offer the world: wisdom, strong community values, and ways of staying resilient and living fully even in hard times. But many of these local insights are missing in the global science of well-being.

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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As I moved from my early to late 40s, one feeling resonated: I felt great! My smartest, most confident, and healthiest version of myself. 

The disconnect between what I was expecting to feel and what I actually felt was so large that, at the end of last year, I started a Substack to talk about the notion that, yes, we can be Happier in the Middle. It turns out my hunch is beyond anecdotal and actually rooted in scientific research.

Primetime, by Margie Lachman, the director of the Lifespan Lab at Brandeis University, suggests that we are looking at both life and especially life in the middle the wrong way.

Instead of viewing life as one mountain to climb, the foundational perspective of the “downhill” metaphor, it’s more accurately a series of mountains and the middle a pivotal summit where we get to look back at where we’ve been and make decisions about where we want to go next.

Why do we believe in a midlife crisis?

Based on over 30 years of research, Lachman roughly defines the middle as age 40 to 60 (plus or minus 10 years).

She demystifies the origin story of the “midlife crisis,” tracing it to a 1965 article by a Canadian psychoanalyst who noted that the creativity of artists dipped in their mid- to late 30s, which he linked to feelings of a looming end of life. We also have him to thank for the notion that life after 40 goes “downhill.”

The idea of a midlife crisis was later fueled by a 2008 study showing a U-shape to happiness, with it dipping in midlife. However, when Lachman and her colleagues investigated the data driving this study, they found that “while visually compelling . . . the giant dip in the graph isn’t as significant as it appears from the image.” But the damage of a belief in a midlife dip in happiness had already been done. Add to that media uptake, and we have a full-blown cultural phenomenon that lives rent-free in most of our heads.

However, research by Lachman and her colleagues shows that only 10 to 20% of adults report having a midlife crisis. More importantly, what’s termed a crisis is closer to an introspective life challenge, and one of many inflection points experienced throughout the lifespan, not just in midlife.

Another challenge that amplifies concern about midlife is the belief that who we are is relatively stable by then, in terms of our self-concept (what we think of ourselves) and personality (how we show up in the world), both of which are key drivers to change. Self-concept and personality impact the realm of what we feel is possible for our lives: the goals we can achieve, lifestyle changes we believe we can make, and types of experiences we seek out.

Lachman offers scientific research that counters the belief of a stable and immutable self. Specifically: 1) Personality can change well into midlife and typically only begins to stabilize after the age of 50, and 2) the 50s is a pivotal decade marked by increased introspection and self-reflection. “One of the great opportunities of midlife is that we are in a stronger position than ever before to close the gap between who we are and who we want to be. Using personality change as an avenue for improving the way you think, feel, and behave is a new and underutilized tool,” she writes.

We can have what she calls in one section of the book “a midlife personality glow-up”!

What do we lose and gain in midlife?

A big challenge that I have with the popular midlife narrative is that it’s a deficit-only narrative. We only hear about what we may potentially lose in this phase of life and far less about what is available for us to gain or maintain. Primetime balances the scale in this area.

The book covers various tradeoffs in midlife focusing on potential losses and gains. I’ll share three such examples below.

Cognition. A big concern many of us have, me included, is: Will I be able to maintain my intelligence and memory as I age or not? Lachman helps us to reframe this black-and-white way of thinking about cognition through the lifespan by reminding us there are two components of intelligence, fluid intelligence and crystallized intelligence. “Fluid intelligence is about quick thinking and innovation. . . . Crystallized intelligence . . . is the epitome of wisdom . . . which relies on experience, semantic memory, knowledge, and the ability to synthesize them all and apply it to the current problem.”

Yes, fluid intelligence may gradually decline as we age, but our crystallized intelligence gets better as we age, through our 60s and 70s. This explains why I feel so confident now: It’s the culmination of life experience, learned knowledge, and my ability to map it on to new situations, all things that we acquire with time.

But if maintaining fluid intelligence is important to us, we are not powerless. Prioritizing activities that encourage neuroplasticity—like learning a new instrument or language, travel to a foreign country, or developing an artistic habit—can help us to preserve fluid intelligence as we age.

Inflammation. In addition to our cognition, another area that gets a lot of attention around midlife decline is our physical health. Everyone from your doctor to well-meaning friends and partners is likely warning you about the potential uptick in illnesses as you age. Their warnings not only are well-meaning, they can also be true. Research does support that as we age, we become susceptible to more physical health problems like cardiovascular, metabolic, and neurodegenerative issues.

A major driver of age-related health decline is inflammation. Inflammation is our immune system’s response to injury, infection, or harm. Lachman reminds us that a key driver of inflammation is chronic stress, something that many of us in the middle may experience due to managing child care, work, and aging parents.

Although we may not be able to control all of the stressors we face at this stage of life, we can mitigate them through our mindset, social support, and healthy behaviors. For example, a study Lachman worked on using Midlife in the United States survey data found that we can employ what she calls “psychosocial anti-inflammatories,” such as cultivating a sense of purpose and meaning in our lives, self-efficacy (believing we can impact change in our lives), optimism, and positive social connections—as well as adopting a regular exercise routine, which has been found to benefit both our physical and mental health as we age. 

Combined, psychosocial anti-inflammatories and exercise help reduce stress and the impact of stress-related inflammation.

Social network. Many of us are likely to have a robust social network by the time we reach middle age, largely due to all of the roles we hold during this period: parent, partner, adult child, friend, boss, coworker, community member, etc. In support of this pattern, Lachman shares data from Pew Research Center that shows that 54% of Americans in their 40s are caring for both children and an aging parent.

With our expanded network comes the potential for a rich and supportive tapestry of social support. But social networks can also add strain and stress stemming from the relationship. Our goal should be to minimize this to the extent possible and capitalize on the social support aspects of relationships. Social support can reduce the impact of life stress and positively contribute to our overall well-being.

An interesting turn that midlife presents for our connection to others is generativity. “Research shows that one of the biggest gains we make in midlife is in the realm of generativity, the way we positively contribute to the world through care and concern for others,” Lachman writes. For example, this might include volunteering, community activism, or mentoring.

It’s in this area that our lived experiences pay in dividends, not just for us but for others. While the concept of generativity places a premium on helping younger generations, this form of support can also be extended to peers and those older than you, as well. A good example is an organization highlighted in the book, Seniors Helping Seniors, where older adults help other older adults across a variety of needs.

The biggest takeaways from Primetime are, first, that our mindset is one of our best assets as we age. It can determine the type of life we will live in midlife and beyond. Second, it’s never too late to start making changes to positively impact our health and well-being. I’m living proof of that, having only recently regained a consistent physical fitness routine in the past couple of years, which has contributed to how good I feel right now, with my 50s around the corner.

We have the capacity to shape how our midlife years and beyond look through the right mindset, decisions, and support; we are not powerless.

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Horrified, the woman worries the dog will jump on them and that they will judge her for breaking the rules. To her surprise, the group is not upset at all. Instead, they smile and say, “Thank you for letting us share in your dog’s joy.” If you imagine yourself in this situation, what would you notice first: the joy of the dog or the violation of the rules?

That’s an anecdote shared in Playful: How Play Shifts Our Thinking, Inspires Connection, and Sparks Creativity, by Cas Holman. This kind of story raises an important question about the lenses adults use to navigate the world. Our daily experience is shaped by what we look for: If we remain open to joy and lightness, we are more likely to see them. But if we have lost the ability to embrace playfulness, we may instead become preoccupied with fear, judgment, and self-criticism.

Holman, a toy designer, educator, and “play expert,” suggests that embracing play can act as a metaphorical filter that helps adults see the world more positively. She argues that rediscovering play allows us to reconnect with our authentic selves and navigate adulthood with greater freedom and happiness. In her words, “play is a necessary nutrient for us to survive well and not be toxic to one another.” Adults can reclaim a sense of “free play” by following three key steps: embracing possibility, releasing judgment, and reframing success.

Her book makes the case that cultivating playfulness has meaningful emotional, social, and developmental implications for individuals of all ages, despite popular belief.

How adulthood pushes play away

Holman begins by describing why adults need play. As we grow older, we become goal-driven and efficiency-oriented to the point that “we run past the roses.” Obligations related to career, family, and achievement often make adults overly self-critical and preoccupied with failure.

Yet Holman argues that play is a primal instinct, as fundamental as fear or desire. Children naturally engage in play in ways that reflect their personalities and preferences. From a developmental standpoint, play supports creativity, curiosity, and learning; these are qualities that adults also need but tend to suppress.

She also notes that a lack of play can have profound consequences. Holman references the case of Charles Whitman, the mass murderer at the University of Texas, Austin, whose childhood was notably devoid of free play. While not suggesting play alone prevents harm, she highlights how environments without play can contribute to emotional disconnection.

Conversely, play often serves as a therapeutic tool in moments of fear and trauma. After 9/11, for instance, therapists encouraged children to use toys, such as planes and buildings, to process their anxieties. Similarly, children with cancer often respond better to treatment when laughter and play are integrated into their care.

Despite these benefits, adults gradually shift away from play. Holman explains the tension between the “play voice” and the “adult voice,” noting that during adolescence and emerging adulthood, we become increasingly conscious of how our behavior is perceived. By adulthood, opportunities for free play are severely limited.

Certain forms of structured play, such as video games, drinking, sex, and sports, persist into adulthood, but Holman argues that these do not fully capture the exploratory nature of free play. Rules and social expectations introduce pressure rather than freedom. To counter this, she proposes different styles of adult play: problem-solving play, like escape rooms, embodied play, like dancing, and misbehavior play, like harmless pranks. She emphasizes that adults often have more room for play than they realize.

How adults can reclaim play

In the second half of the book, Holman explains how adults can cultivate what she calls the “playful mindset.”

The first step, she argues, is to embrace possibility. That involves choosing to engage in play and lightness, even when others may not. It requires stepping back from rigid thinking and allowing space for abstraction, unfamiliarity, and rediscovery. When we open ourselves to new experiences, we regain access to the parts of ourselves shaped by curiosity.

The next step, releasing judgment, is equally important. Adults often worry about whether they are playing the “right” way, but Holman emphasizes that there is no correct way to play. Children form identity through exploration, and the same is true for adults. Holman’s toy “rigamajig,” a “glorified pile of construction debris” that can be assembled in infinite ways, illustrates how freedom from boundaries encourages creativity. Releasing judgment also includes questioning social norms, creating before critiquing, and flattening hierarchies that limit autonomy.

The final step, reframing success, involves shifting from a fear-of-failure mindset to one centered on learning. Holman discusses Anji Play, an educational approach from China that encourages children to explore, take risks, and reflect on their learning rather than their performance. Adults, too, often value perfection over curiosity. Holman encourages embracing failure as part of the creative process, citing Thomas Edison’s remark that he simply discovered “10,000 ways it doesn’t work” on the path to inventing the lightbulb.

In Playful, Holman encourages adults to re-engage with their inner “play voice” and to reconnect with the joy, exploration, and imagination of childhood. She argues that “play can encompass and amplify all the things that make us human: our sense of self and identity, our ability to connect and collaborate, and the complexity of our beings, environment, society, and world.” Ultimately, her work suggests that playfulness is not merely enjoyable, it is essential for well-being, growth, and meaningful connection in adulthood.

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Modern clinical trials appear to support this. Several studies suggest that the intensity of a “mystical-type experience” during a psychedelic session predicts the degree of improvement in depression, anxiety or addiction. A recent review, for example, reports a consistent statistical link between mystical experiences and improved mental health.

It is an enticing idea: that healing comes through a profound encounter with unity, sacredness or ultimate reality. But do we really need mystical experiences to get better?

To understand why this question matters, it helps to step back. Long before psychedelics entered psychiatry, philosophers and theologians were fascinated by mystical states. In the early 20th century, the psychologist William James argued in his book The Varieties of Religious Experience that mystical states should be judged “by their fruits, not by their roots”–meaning by their effects on people’s lives rather than by debates about their metaphysical truth.

Others, including the British writer on Christian mysticism Evelyn Underhill and the philosopher of religion Walter Stace, developed what later became known as “perennial philosophy”: the idea that a common core experience lies at the heart of the world’s religions.

This way of thinking has quietly shaped modern psychedelic science. In 1962, the psychiatrist Walter Pahnke conducted the Good Friday Experiment, giving theology students psilocybin in a church. Many reported experiences that were strikingly similar to those described by classical mystics.

Around the same time, British-born psychiatrist Humphry Osmond–who coined the word “psychedelic”–developed treatment approaches designed to induce powerful “peak experiences” that could trigger lasting psychological change.

Today, large clinical trials at universities such as Johns Hopkins and Imperial College London have revived this approach. Researchers routinely measure whether participants have had a “mystical-type experience” using a standardized questionnaire known as the mystical experience questionnaire, or MEQ.

Participants are asked to rate statements such as “I had an experience of unity with ultimate reality” or “I had an experience which cannot be described adequately in words.” The higher the score, the more likely someone is classified as having had a full mystical experience.

But this raises a conundrum. If an experience is supposedly “ineffable”–beyond words–how accurately can it be captured by ticking boxes on a survey?

Some critics argue that the MEQ builds in assumptions drawn from perennial philosophy. By asking about “ultimate reality” or “sacredness,” it may reflect a particular interpretation of mystical experience rather than a neutral description. As one analysis notes, there is a risk that the scale partly reproduces the very theory it aims to test.

Complicating expectations

Many participants in psychedelic trials arrive already primed for transcendence. They have read glowing media coverage, listened to podcasts or watched documentaries promising life-changing breakthroughs. Research shows that such expectations can significantly shape subjective drug experiences.

My colleagues and I saw just how powerful suggestion can be in a study nicknamed “tripping with the god helmet.” Participants wore a sham brain-stimulation device that we described as capable of activating their “mystical lobes.” In reality, no stimulation was delivered. Yet nearly half reported mystical-type experiences, some describing them as deeply meaningful.

In another experiment, placebo psychedelics administered in a carefully staged environment–complete with evocative music and imagery–produced strikingly similar reports. These findings suggest that context and expectation are not minor side notes. They can play a central role in shaping what people experience.

None of this means psychedelic therapy is “just a placebo.” The drugs clearly alter brain activity and experience in powerful ways. But it does raise the possibility that mystical experiences are not the sole or even primary driver of therapeutic change.

After all, correlation does not equal causation. A large body of psychiatric research warns against assuming that because two things occur together, one must cause the other. Mystical experiences may simply be one visible marker of other processes, such as increased emotional openness, the development of new neural connections or changes in entrenched beliefs.

Super placebos

Some researchers have even described psychedelics as super placebos: substances that amplify expectancy effects rather than bypass them. That may sound dismissive, but it points to something important. Expectations, beliefs and meaning-making are not incidental to healing; they are often central to it.

When used carefully in structured settings, psychedelics may act less like magic bullets and more like catalysts. They intensify whatever psychological processes are already underway.

For some, that may include feelings of unity and transcendence. For others, it may involve confronting grief, fear or long-buried memories. Stanislav Grof, a pioneer of psychedelic therapy, once compared these substances to microscopes for the mind–tools that reveal otherwise hidden aspects of experience.

The key point is this: while mystical experiences often go hand in hand with improvement, they may not be essential. And on their own, they may not be enough to create lasting change.

Lasting therapeutic benefits appear to emerge from a web of interacting factors: brain changes, emotional breakthroughs, supportive settings, skilled therapists and the integration work that follows the session. Focusing too narrowly on whether someone scored above a mystical threshold risks oversimplifying a complex process.

The psychedelic renaissance has opened exciting possibilities for mental health treatment. But if the field is to mature, it may need to move beyond the assumption that transcendence is the secret ingredient.

The future of psychedelic therapy may depend less on chasing mystical peaks and more on understanding the conditions that help people translate intense experiences–mystical or otherwise–into durable, meaningful change.

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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But a new study suggests that we could have that backwards. Instead of self-control or willpower leading us toward greater well-being in the future, greater well-being increases our ability to have more self-control for meeting our goals.

“A struggle with self-control may not necessarily indicate a fundamental deficiency in willpower or grit,” says research fellow Shuna Khoo of the National University of Singapore, first author of the study.

“Instead, that struggle could be a sign of a depleted state of well-being, which can stem from many life circumstances.”

Well-being and self-control

In the study, two groups of participants (one of Asian adults, one of Americans) filled out surveys measuring their level of self-control and happiness over time, to see if their self-control at one point led to greater well-being later on (and vice versa). The Asian adults (average age 30) filled out surveys every six months; the American adults (average age 41) were surveyed every three months.

People in both groups reported on how well they employed strategies like inhibition (e.g., the ability to resist temptations), initiation (e.g., not wasting time before getting to a project), and continuation (e.g., being consistent in their actions) to have better self-control.

For well-being measures, researchers asked the Asian participants how much they agreed with statements like, “I am happy”; “I appreciate my own self-worth”; and “I am appreciative of life” (all more culturally-sensitive aspects of well-being), while American participants reported on things like how optimistic, energetic, and happy they were. All participants also provided demographic information: their age, gender, and education level.

The researchers then analyzed the relationship between reported self-control and well-being. In both groups, happiness and self-control measures were correlated, so that people with more self-control at one point in time tended to be happier, too (and vice-versa). This was not a big surprise, as prior research has shown that the two seem to go hand in hand.

However, when looking within individuals over time, the researchers found that a person with greater self-control at one point in time did not report having greater well-being at later points in time. Conversely, people who had greater well-being at one point in time did experience greater self-control later on. This was true no matter the age, gender, or education level of the person involved.

For Lile Jia, another coauthor of the study, this suggests having greater self-control is not necessarily a predictor of later well-being, as many may assume. Jia says:

A prevailing narrative, both in popular culture and some psychological literature, posits that self-control is the primary engine of a good life—that through willpower and discipline, we attain well-being. Our findings, consistent across two distinct cultural samples and different time intervals, point to the reverse. They tell us that psychological well-being and feeling good daily may, in fact, be an essential precursor to better self-control.

Why would feeling good lead to better self-control? Jia points to Barbara Fredrickson’s “broaden-and-build” theory of positive emotions, which suggests that having positive feelings increases our psychological resources. This means that when feeling good, we can be more creative, cognitively flexible, and open to new experiences, helping us manage difficulties better—including the “work” of avoiding temptation and stopping ourselves from veering away from our goals.

“In essence, feeling good helps build the psychological capital that supports self-control,” says Jia.

Where does willpower come from?

This is important to know for many reasons, says Khoo. For example, those of us who wish to change our behavior should focus less on increasing our willpower and more on strengthening our overall well-being. We may want to prioritize activities that foster positive feelings, a sense of purpose, and social connection, she says, rather than knuckling our way through.

“These are not indulgent distractions from the ‘real work’ of self-control; our research suggests they may be essential to it, creating fertile ground for self-control and discipline to grow,” says Khoo.

Though this study focused only on adults, it may also have implications for children. Knowing how self-control and well-being are connected can help point parents toward better responses to their children who have trouble resisting temptation, says Jia.

Suppose a child is tempted to sneak a cookie before dinnertime, potentially spoiling their appetite. Rather than a parent feeling frustrated by their child’s “lack of self-control” or punishing them in some way, they may want to see this as an opportunity to get curious about a child’s underlying need—whether it’s simply hunger or, possibly, a reaction to feeling stressed at school or disconnected from peers.

“A tired, stressed, or unhappy child will naturally have fewer psychological resources to control their impulses,” says Khoo “Therefore, creating a safe, supportive, and positive environment is not just good for a child’s happiness. It may also be one of the best ways to help develop their self-regulation skills.”

Though the researchers’ results could use future corroboration through experimental studies, they do suggest we may be going about our New Year’s resolutions with the wrong focus.

Instead of trying to “stop a bad habit,” Jia says, we may want to increase our daily well-being, instead. This could involve finding activities that are more restorative and fulfilling for us—like practicing gratitude, connecting with supportive friends, or aiming for greater meaning or purpose in life. By building up our reserves, we will be helping ourselves to have more energy, fight off temptations better, and stay on course for breaking bad habits.

“When you find yourself struggling to adhere to your goals, I would encourage you to resist the impulse to label yourself as undisciplined or unworthy. Instead, consider it a signal to check in on your own state of being,” says Jia. “Feeling good is not just the destination. It is a critical part of the journey.”

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As this fraught year comes to a close, the Greater Good education team invites educators to take a break from the news and, through these books, remember the good that you are rendering in the world—every single day with each of your students and colleagues in little moments of love and care. It’s those moments that sustain us, and that will ultimately transform us all. — Vicki Zakrzewski

Happy Schools: Placing Happiness at the Heart of Schools, by Romesh Kumar

In Happy Schools, Romesh Kumar explains that cultivating happiness in classrooms is not an extravagance, but an imperative. He points to the devastating statistics around depression and suicide rates among India’s youth connected to the pressure they feel in schools to succeed at all costs. And the significant costs—lack of social connections, feelings of self-doubt and recrimination, and general despair—are too often the norm for India’s students on any sort of “track” that involves post-secondary education and career pathways.

Kumar argues that there is a solution, one that will not result in lowering academic standards. He shares studies, anecdotes, and successful models of “happy schools” in India and globally to help us rethink how students can be invited into learning spaces. Instead of a near-singular focus on academic achievement, especially through grades and ranking systems, Kumar advocates for a humanizing approach to education whereby students—and the adults who support them—are seen, valued, and held in a culture of curiosity and care.

Throughout the book, Kumar weaves in compelling research that connects student and educator well-being to academic success and happiness, or flourishing, within the larger community. Specific chapters of the book dive more deeply into aspects of education systems that may not always appear in discussions about student well-being and happiness, such as inclusion for students with special needs, the ways that Indigenous knowledge and traditional cultural practices can guide well-being initiatives, and how teacher agency and happiness are necessary for happy schools to exist.

While the book is focused specifically on Indian education systems, any educator will recognize the daily tension that comes with prioritizing academic content, grades, and test scores over self-awareness, well-being, and social connections. In Happy Schools, Kumar offers us a path forward that isn’t an either-or, but rather a both-and solution. If we can center students’ happiness—and our own—schools can become places where our minds and hearts can flourish. — Sarah Bracken

Pedagogies of Voice: Street Data and the Path to Student Agency, by Shane Safir, Marlo Bagsik, Sawsan Jaber, and Crystal M. Watson

Pedagogies of Voice is a call to action. Through a seamless weaving of stories, reflective questions, and practical strategies, the authors challenge educators to center students in the margins as they develop curricula and policies.

Each chapter is filled with the voices of real teachers and students working to shift the way we do school. The authors advocate for teachers to rethink their role as the gatekeeper of knowledge, to challenge traditional systems of top-down curriculum and discipline practices, and to listen deeply to students’ stories. Rather than deciding what students need, the goal for teachers is to uncover students’ rich and diverse cultural capital in order to build classrooms with and for them, with particular attention to traditionally marginalized students whose stories and funds of knowledge are often ignored or silenced. The book ends with a chapter on “Awakening Teacher Voice and Agency,” calling on teachers to use their power for the greater good, and on education leaders to invest in and trust teachers to build equitable and meaningful education spaces where all students can learn and thrive.

This book may challenge you, but the gentleness and grace with which the authors push us to examine existing power structures and inequitable paradigms help to ease the discomfort as we gaze inward with a critical eye and advocate outward with conviction. — Sarah Bracken

The Words That Shape Us: The Science-Based Power of Teacher Language, by Lily Howard Scott

The words educators speak in classrooms can have an impact that reverberates for years to come. They shape the way that children interact with learning and relationships—often in ways that we never imagined, argues Lily Howard Scott in her new book. Through thoughtful personal anecdotes and practices you can implement in your classroom today, The Words That Shape Us is a powerful resource and insightful read.

From reframing how we speak to and about children with a more nuanced approach, to introducing language that helps students feel more comfortable discussing their strengths and weaknesses, Howard Scott approaches the topic of language with a comprehensible depth that is actionable and backed by research.

“Words are powerful tools for regulating minds and bodies, and the small moments between teachers and students matter,” writes Howard Scott. “Change is rooted in the hundreds of tiny decisions we make each day and in the language we use throughout fleeting-yet-connected moments.”

While it is directly aimed at grade-school teachers, Howard Scott emphasizes how the tools in this book can be integrated at any level of education, both inside and outside of the classroom. Her work is a compelling reminder that when we speak with intention, we help shape not just better learners, but kinder, more connected humans. — Emily Brower

Love to Learn: The Transformative Power of Care and Connection in Early Education, by Isabelle C. Hau

In Love to Learn, Isabelle C. Hau explains why our youngest learners deserve far more attention than they’re getting.

“We are all born billionaires: an infant is born with a treasure chest of a hundred billion neurons,” she says. Wired for relational connection, we thrive on attention, attunement, and language-rich “serve and return” exchanges. With public funding for early education fading, she argues for a focus on “a future where learning is relational and love is literacy.”

As the executive director of the Stanford Accelerator for Learning Initiative, Hau partners with researchers, schools, and community leaders to study and leverage the latest applications of technology, brain research, and learning sciences. She’s familiar with a range of cutting-edge educational programs and policies, which makes her a well-informed, research-driven storyteller.

Hau shares examples of schools and community centers that serve as “relational hubs,” connecting students, teachers, and (intergenerational) families. Further, she offers rich, research-based examples of meaningful social play and neighborhood “learning landscapes,” including interactive “MathTrails,” “Storybook Paths,” and “Musical Playgrounds.”

Although the author’s emphasis on AI and education technology may make some readers nervous, in my view she does strike a balance. She features tools that support children struggling with social skills and language development, for example, while cautioning against overreliance on AI robots as nannies or friends who lack the capacity for genuine emotion and care. Further, she reviews a range of relational tech tools like Eldera, Caribu, and Khan Academy Kids that can enhance learning and social connections rather than further alienating us from each other.

Ultimately, Hau argues that love is the “heartbeat of life and learning,” and her vision of early education expands to encompass us all with relational intelligence as the lifeblood of schools, workplaces, and our communities. — Amy L. Eva

Neurodiversity-Affirming Schools: Transforming Practices So All Students Feel Accepted and Supported, by Emily Kircher-Morris and Amanda Morin

“True belonging isn’t about being included in spaces you’d otherwise be excluded from. It’s about feeling welcome from the start. And neurodiversity-affirming schools start from the place of assuming all students belong,” write Emily Kircher-Morris and Amanda Morin. But what exactly is a neurodiversity-affirming school, and how can educators create these types of spaces?

In their book, Neurodiversity-Affirming Schools: Transforming Practices So All Students Feel Accepted and Supported, Kircher-Morris and Morin provide a holistic approach to creating schools where all students can be their authentic selves and feel safe and secure to learn.

After establishing a shared understanding of the concept of neurodiversity—that there is variety and variability in all brains; that we all think and process differently—and what that means for learning, the authors offer a number of entry points to the work of creating schools that affirm all types of thinking, learning, and being.

They propose new pedagogical approaches, encourage mindset shifts, and share practical strategies across a number of topics relevant to teaching neurodivergent learners. The beauty of this book is that educators can follow the path that feels most relevant to them.

This may sound overwhelming if you are new to this work—and that’s OK. The authors emphasize that the goal of creating neurodiversity-affirming schools and classrooms is lofty, and that it cannot be achieved alone. They remind us that change happens gradually. Each conversation, each strategy, each shift in thinking creates more spaces where students feel like they belong. — Mariah Flynn

Nature and Spirituality During the Early Years, by Ruth Wilson

Overwhelmed and exhausted raising a fussy newborn, I stumbled upon a magical balm for my soul—time spent in nature. By stepping out into the sounds, smells, and subtle texture of the natural world, my baby would quickly settle into a sort of wide-eyed wonder.

I’ve often wondered why this simple action had such a profound impact on my daughter. Ruth Wilson’s newest book, Nature and Spirituality During the Early Years, provides a theoretical framework for understanding this innate connection between very young children and the natural world. 

Wilson draws on a considerable body of research in the fields of biology, ecopsychology, and social ecology to describe this connection as “biophilia: an innate tendency to affiliate with life and lifelike processes.” The many long-term benefits of maintaining this connection between children and the natural world are well-documented.

While these benefits apply to all areas of child development, it is the transcendent experiences of awe and wonder that Wilson is most keenly interested in studying. Her work recognizes and values children’s perspectives and ways of interacting with nature, providing both implications for educators’ practice and an understanding of how children’s appreciative interactions with nature support their spiritual development: seeking meaning, constructing a sense of identity, and recognizing their interdependence with the world around them. — Margaret Golden

Just Shine! How to Be a Better You by Sonia Sotomayor, illustrated by Jacqueline Alcantara

Written by The Honorable Sonia Sotomayor as a tribute to her mother, Celina, Just Shine is ultimately a story about the transformational power of love.

Beginning in Puerto Rico, we are introduced to Celina as a young child courageously caring for her sick mother. Throughout the book, we discover how Celina loved without discrimination. Each chapter of Celina’s life offers an example of how loving others makes the world shine—being courageous, keeping others company, helping those in need, offering forgiveness, and accepting kindness and spreading it to others.

The last chapter shows an elder Celina, having given of herself so generously without expecting anything in return, now being cared for in the same ways that she showed love throughout her life. It is a wonderful book for teachers to share in the elementary grades when developing a caring classroom community. It gives clear, concrete examples of how prosocial behaviors help us make the world a kinder and happier place.

This heartfelt and beautifully illustrated book ends with a question: What will you do to make your world shine? It is a perfect book to share during this season of light and love. — Margaret Golden

Reinvigorating Classroom Climate: Everyday Strategies to Inspire Teachers and Students, by Maurice J. Elias

The field of K–12 education is quickly becoming about more than just academics. Indeed, educators all over the world are transforming how we “do” education by attending to students’ (and their own) social, emotional, and ethical development, while also addressing test scores. But sometimes knowing how to foster these forms of development can be overwhelming—programs are a dime a dozen, and research is increasing our understanding of human development at the speed of light, compelling educators to constantly adjust their approach. Help!

Enter Reinvigorating Classroom Climate. Pulling from his decades of research and practical experience, Maurice Elias provides educators with eight approaches, such as creating positive classroom and school climates, promoting inspiration and human dignity, fostering students’ intrinsic motivation, and restoring the soul of educators. Each “approach” is clearly described, supported with practical examples and, best of all, super easy methods for implementing immediately.

What I appreciate most, however, about Elias’s book is his ability to empathize with educators. Not only has he done the hard work of organizing an enormous body of research into succinct methods for classroom implementation, he also speaks to educators’ hearts. He understands that most of us who chose education as a career did so to make a difference in the lives of students and the world—and this book helps us do just that.

As he writes: “It’s seeing our students flourish—despite challenges and hassles—that fosters restoration of the soul of educators and your pride and joy in your work.” — Vicki Zakrzewski

In 2025, we welcomed guests like world-class athlete Abby Wambach, renowned psychologists and love experts Julie and John Gottman, and award-winning poet and author Yrsa Daley-Ward. Together, we dove into questions like: How can we strengthen empathy in polarized times? What role does gratitude play in sustaining mental health? How do we foster hope, creativity, and resilience in ourselves and our communities? Our guests helped us explore these questions, sharing stories and testing science-backed practices in their own lives.

In case you missed them, here are the top five The Science of Happiness podcast episodes of 2025, as determined by downloads:

1. Why Dancing Is the Best Medicine: Lori Arnett, a NASA engineer, tries a month-long dance practice that brings her closer to her daughters and colleagues, offering unexpected moments of calm and joy. Bronwyn Tarr, an expert on the science of dance, explains how moving in sync boosts mood, eases stress, and even raises our pain threshold through the power of endorphins.

2. Our Brains on Poetry: We explore how poetry, one of the oldest art forms, powers our brains, calms our nervous systems, and reduces anxiety by opening doors into our psyche. Yrsa Daley-Ward, an award-winning poet and author, joins Susan Magsamen, a professor of neurology at John Hopkins, to discuss how—whether you’re reading or writing it—elements like rhythm, metaphor, and rhyme improve memory, cognition, and even self-esteem.

3. How Awe Helps You Navigate Life’s Challenges: Embracing awe can uplift caregivers, providing them with tools to nurture themselves while nurturing others. Our guests Noam Osband and Devora Keller share how they found ways to refresh themselves and foster connection with their two young children by incorporating awe through music, nature, and shared experiences.

4. How to Do Hard Things: What happens when the world sees you as a hero, but you feel lost inside? Abby Wambach, a trailblazer in women’s soccer, spent years chasing excellence as a world-class athlete, only to find that winning gold didn’t bring the inner fulfillment she craved. She reflects on addiction, shame, identity, and the hard-earned lessons of self-love.

5. How 7 Days Can Transform Your Relationship: We are joined by renowned psychologists Julie and John Gottman to explore a seven-day love challenge based on decades of their research. From meaningful check-ins and heartfelt compliments to the importance of touch, we uncover how small, intentional actions can create lasting bonds.

Bonus Episode: This year we were nominated for a Webby Award for our 2024 episode, Are You Remembering the Good Times? Our guest, Palestinian-American poet Naomi Shihab Nye, tried a practice to discover the joy-bringing power of recalling her positive childhood memories.

Other times, they take a little more practice and work. That’s the case with many of this year’s top scientific insights, which deal with big topics like forgiveness, trust, morality, meaning, and purpose. While we probably can’t cultivate these overnight, they are no less important to living a good and happy life—and especially important for thriving societies. 

The final insights were selected by experts on our staff, after soliciting nominations from our network of nearly 400 researchers. We hope they help you consider what you’d like to invite into your life and your community as we head into 2026.

1. Feeling hopeful—even more so than just feeling good—may bring us a sense of meaning

Some of us may struggle to find a sense of meaning in life, especially when times are tough. But according to a new set of studies published this year in the journal Emotion, one important pathway to a meaningful life is by cultivating hope. 

Over the course of a college semester, students who felt more hopeful at one moment in time reported higher levels of meaning later in the semester. The researchers found unique effects for hope—general positive emotions didn’t have the same effect. In other words, among all the good feelings we can have, hope may play a particularly important role in a meaningful life.

Moreover, just feeling hopeful—even if we don’t necessarily think it’s realistic—seems to be beneficial. In one survey, the emotion of hope had a stronger link to meaning than did people’s beliefs about whether they could attain a good outcome.

In another study, researchers asked some participants to read an optimistic news story, while other participants read a pessimistic story. Those who read the optimistic article tended to report feeling more hope, and, in turn, readers who felt more hopeful reported a greater overall sense of meaning in life. This tells us that our feelings of hope and meaning can shift moment to moment, and they are influenced by the things we encounter in daily life.

When we’re facing tough times, taking time to cultivate hope—for example, by seeking out positive news or reminding ourselves that tough circumstances can improve—can help us to see the world around us as more meaningful.

2. A strong sense of right and wrong makes for a happier, more meaningful life

Does striving to be a good person feel good? Or does making ethical choices entail a certain amount of self-sacrifice?

Philosophical debates about the relationship between morality and happiness are longstanding, but this year a paper published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology weighed in with evidence that doing good and feeling good go hand in hand.

Across three different studies, researchers asked groups of adults, from undergraduate students in the U.S. to engineers in China, about how happy they were, including how often they felt positive and negative emotions, and how satisfied they were with life. The researchers also asked how much they had a sense of meaning and purpose. Finally, participants nominated people they knew (like friends, partners, family members, teachers, and coworkers) who could weigh in on how moral the participants were. While there are many ways to think about morality, for the purpose of this paper it included traits like being compassionate, respectful, fair, loyal, dependable, and honest.

The result? In general, they found, people who were seen as more moral by family and friends themselves reported being happier and having a greater sense of meaning in life. 

Why would being moral make us happier? “Highly moral individuals might be happier in part because they have better relationships with other people,” the researchers found in some initial analyses. But because these are correlational studies, it could also be that being happy promotes more upstanding behavior. What’s clear, at least, is that being moral and being happy don’t seem to be in conflict.

In other words, treating people well doesn’t have to come at your own expense—which is perhaps more evidence that everyone’s well-being is interconnected.

3. Your well-being influences your mitochondrial health

Centuries of thought have been dedicated to the mind-body connection: the idea that mental states like contentment or distress directly influence the body in ways that shape physical health.

In a paper published in Current Directions in Psychological Science, researchers identify one new pathway through which this may be occurring: our mitochondria.

Mitochondria, the tiny organelles in our cells that convert energy from nutrients in the blood into currency that the body can use, are sensitive to what is going on in our mental lives. They ramp up production to strengthen defense to threats; they trigger inflammatory responses to help the body fight off pathogens. Subjected to intense or long-term stress, they weaken and toss DNA debris into the bloodstream.

In the paper, the researchers highlight evidence that our psychological and social experiences affect our mitochondria in important ways. For example, they share the finding that people with a greater sense of purpose and more social support in life have higher levels of mitochondrial proteins in the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex of the brain, a region that supports paying attention as well as reinterpreting and expressing emotions in agile and constructive ways. Other research finds that factors like how big our social networks are, our social activity later in life, personal growth, and self-acceptance may make a difference to our mitochondrial health, too.

Currently, we tend to evaluate and treat mental and physical health independently, as separate conditions, rather than considering them as integrated or interdependent. While it may seem obvious that how we think and feel would impact how our bodies work, there is still some mystery around exactly how mental and social factors translate into physical processes that affect health. Looking more closely at mitochondrial function could help us better understand the mind-body connection and come up with better practices to support holistic well-being.

4. Just about every activity is more enjoyable in the company of others

Students use body doubling (online or in-person) to power through final exam studying. Reading and knitting groups congregate in coffee shops and on porches to engage in hobbies together—often in silence. Why this impulse to be together?

A study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science found that almost anything we do is more enjoyable with other people. Researchers at the University of British Columbia looked at surveys from 41,094 participants over four years, who rated 105,766 activities they engaged in. These fell into more than 80 categories of daily activities, from eating to yard work to crafting. For every single activity, participants consistently rated it as more enjoyable when engaged in alongside another person.

“Whether we are eating, reading, or even cleaning up around the house, happiness thrives in the company of others,” the authors conclude.

Not only does happiness thrive in the company of others, but another study this year suggests that happiness experienced together may be even better for our health than happiness experienced alone.

A study led by researchers at the University of California, Davis, analyzed interactions between couples in Germany and Canada (642 people total, all 56 to 89 years old). Multiple times a day, participants rated their mood, froze a sample of their saliva to be tested for cortisol, and noted whether they were with their partner.

The results were striking. Couples who experienced emotional resonance, meaning they were together and experiencing higher than usual connection, also measured lower cortisol levels as compared with their personal norm for that time of day—and lower than when they experienced positive emotions by themselves. Persistent high levels of cortisol can cause high blood pressure, high blood sugar, weakened immunity, and other harms to our health.

“Sharing in positive emotions with your relationship partner is really meaningful,” says the lead author of the study, Tomiko Yoneda of the University of California, Davis. “Even those small moments of joy or social connection can have a supportive effect on your physiology and, basically, support better health as we age.”

5. When you forgive, your memories don’t fade, but your misery does

When we’ve been wronged, it can be hard to forgive. Perhaps we worry that forgiveness means forgetting what happened to us, letting other people off the hook somehow.

But a study published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology found that this isn’t the way forgiveness works. Rather than helping us forget, forgiveness seems to keep our memories intact while lessening the suffering we feel recalling them.

In the study, participants recalled and wrote about a time when they were harmed by another person, noting how severe the transgression was and whether or not they’d forgiven the person. Then, they filled out questionnaires on the specifics of the harm (such as where it took place, how vivid it was in their minds, and sensory details) and its emotional characteristics (such as the intensity of the feelings they had at the time and how they felt now recalling the event).

By running analyses, the researchers found that people who had forgiven recalled just as much detail as those who hadn’t, but also felt less emotionally burdened thinking about the event. This implies that forgiveness does not equal forgetting.

“One possibility is to think that when we forgive, we change our judgment of what happened during the wrongdoing. But I think that’s just wrong,” says De Brigard, one of the study coauthors. “We still consider the people that wronged us as being culpable and morally responsible for what happened to us.”

This suggests that forgiving someone can protect our well-being without impacting our pursuit of justice or amends for the harm we’ve suffered.

6. Trusting in other people and institutions can improve our well-being across our lives

Trust is paramount to a functioning society, where we depend on each other to make things work. Yet a recent Pew Research Center poll suggests social trust may be eroding in many places.

A new paper published in Psychological Bulletin shows us how problematic this is. In an analysis of over 500 studies involving over 2.5 million participants around the world, researchers found that people who tended to trust others more at any level (i.e., within their relationships, institutions, or government) were happier and more satisfied with life than those who trusted less—and experiencing greater well-being fostered more trust down the road, too.

This suggests that fostering greater trust would be a worthy goal for bettering our lives. But how to do that? One simple way might be to realize that our distrust of others is sometimes misguided, as another 2025 study published in Nature Human Behaviour found.

In the study, students living in some freshman dorms saw a series of posters providing accurate messages about their classmates’ willingness to engage in positive social behavior (e.g., “95% of undergraduate students are likely to help others who are feeling down”). These students also attended a one-hour freshman workshop where, in addition to the regular curriculum, they were educated about their peers’ empathy and social goals. Some dorms had the campaign posters and added lessons, while others didn’t.

All first-year dorm residents took surveys later in the semester, reporting on how empathic their peers seemed, how much they themselves took social risks, and how much time they spent socializing. Those whose misconceptions had been corrected estimated their peers’ empathy levels more accurately and were more likely to take risks and socialize—a sign of social trust.

This finding tracks well with past studies finding that correcting wrong assumptions can improve trust and social interactions. For example, research has found that people generally share a desire to protect democracy, are more ethical, and want to connect across difference more than we think, and correcting those misperceptions has positive consequences. Perhaps, understanding that people are more trustworthy than we give them credit for might help build bridges between people, making us all better off.

7. Where purpose comes from and how it benefits us may be similar across cultures

Research finds that people with a sense of purpose in life tend to enjoy greater health, happiness, and economic success, among other benefits. Yet much research on purpose has been conducted in Western cultures using general surveys of purpose, making it unclear if cultural influences affect these claims.

But a study published this year in The Journal of Positive Psychology offers new insights, suggesting that people prioritize similar sources of purpose across very different cultural backgrounds, and benefit in much the same way from having a sense of purpose.

In the study, over 1,000 people from Japan, India, Poland, and the United States reported how happy, meaningful, and psychologically rich their lives were—all aspects of “the good life.” They also rated how 16 different sources of purpose guided their behavior and decision making, considering both self-focused sources of purpose (like health, wealth, and inner peace) and more outward-focused sources of purpose (like caring for family, having a positive impact, and serving your country and community).

In analyses, researchers found that happiness, self-sufficiency, and family were in the top five sources of purpose for each country, while religion and recognition were in the bottom five. There was also large agreement on which sources of purpose went along with elements of “the good life.” For example, people who said their purpose came from mattering were the most likely to have a more meaningful life, while people pursuing inner peace, positive impact, and physical health felt happier. Those pursuing service to others had the strongest sense of psychological richness (a form of well-being involving diverse, challenging, and interesting activities that evoke complex emotions and change your perspective).

While there were variations, too, the most striking parts of the study were the unexpected similarities.

“What stands out from our finding is just how much agreement there was within these four quite different countries about what kinds of purposes are associated with a good life,” says coauthor Stephen Heine. “Though the goal of our paper was to highlight many sources of purpose, our take-home message is that having any kind of purpose is key to having a good life.”

8. Children as young as five prefer adults who express doubt to those who are overly confident

Intellectual humility involves recognizing the limits of our own knowledge and staying open to changing our minds in light of new information. It helps us get along better with others and bridge differences, making it a virtue worth cultivating in our children.

While it may seem like intellectual humility is beyond the understanding of young children, a study published this year in Developmental Psychology found that even five and a half years olds already recognize the value of humility and prefer humbler adults to more arrogant adults.

In the study, 111 children were presented with an ambiguous object (e.g., something that could be a sponge or a rock) or an ambiguous word (e.g., “bat,” which could be an animal or sports equipment). Then, they watched two adults identify the object or word and express doubt (or not) about it.

Each adult presented themselves as amiable and initially identified the object or word in the same way. But the humbler person modeled more uncertainty, saying their identification could be wrong, while the more arrogant person said they were sure they were right.

Afterward, the children rated who they thought was smarter and nicer, and whom they liked more and would rather learn from. In analyses, the researchers found that children five and a half years and older, no matter their gender, preferred humbler people to arrogant people in every way, with that preference growing stronger with every additional year of age.

This suggests that young children recognize the benefits of humility and that adults can model uncertainty for children. Learning it’s OK to admit you don’t know something could help children in their future relationships, including across group differences.

“There is power in saying, ‘I’m not entirely sure and my knowledge is fallible and so is yours; maybe we can come together and talk,’” says coauthor Shauna Bowes of Vanderbilt University. “I think the earlier in life kids learn to do this, the better.”

9. People are forming relationships with robots—whether we like the trend or not

Artificial intelligence has invaded almost every aspect of human life, from media creation to food systems to transportation. Personal relationships are no exception.

AI companies such as Xiaoice and Replika explicitly market their chatbots as companions, boyfriends, and girlfriends. That label rings true for tens of millions of users who are developing bonds with these robots, whose algorithms are built to validate our feelings and respond to our bids for attention instantly.

About 20% of high school students have formed a romantic relationship with a chatbot, or know someone who has, according to a survey from the Center for Democracy and Technology. Among U.S. adults, about the same percentage have chatted with an AI simulating a romantic partner, with usage higher among young adults aged 18 to 30, about 31% of men and 23% of women, according to a study by the Wheatley Institute at Brigham Young University.

Users describe daily lives intertwined with AI romantic partners, from watching television together to relying on them for nonjudgmental emotional support, according to a systematic review in Computers in Human Behavior Reports that examined 23 studies on romantic AI. While these interactions can foster self-reflection and personal growth, they also raise dangers such as emotional manipulation and erosion of real-life, human relationships.

An article in Perspectives on Psychological Science assessed the degree to which AI chatbot relationships mimic the functions of human relationships, and explored the risks. The authors, psychologists at the University of California, Los Angeles, concluded that humans and their chatbot partners can influence each other, generate feelings of closeness, and facilitate growth.

However, they identified areas of concern, including the risk of chatbots responding inappropriately in moments of crisis, normalizing problematic behavior, and creating dependency.

“Because chatbots make only superficial requests of their users, relationships with them cannot provide the benefits of negotiating with and sacrificing for a partner and may reinforce undesirable behaviors,” they wrote.

These developments “expose gaps in human connection and show how intimacy can be shaped by technology,” Sahar Habib Ghazi writes in Greater Good. “Understanding AI love may help us better understand ourselves, and the human bonds we continue to seek.”

10. If we put a country’s wealth aside, we can see what other factors bolster happiness

Every year, the World Happiness Report ignites conversations about which countries are thriving and which ones seem to be struggling—and why that might be. While in general wealthier countries tend to be happier, some nations do far better than their economic resources would predict, while others underperform despite relative affluence.

In a paper published in May by the European Journal of Social Psychology, psychologist Mohsen Joshanloo took the conversation to a new level with an idea called wealth-adjusted life satisfaction (WALS). Instead of asking simply “how happy is this country?,” WALS asks “how happy given its wealth?” By statistically isolating the portion of life satisfaction explained by a country’s GDP per capita, this measure reveals how effective each society seems to be in converting material resources into well-being.

The results are revealing. Countries like Nicaragua, Nepal, and Kyrgyzstan far outperform expectations, reporting levels of life satisfaction that rival or exceed those of much wealthier nations. Conversely, places such as South Korea, Hong Kong, and Bahrain score lower than their GDP might suggest, indicating that wealth alone isn’t enough.

What distinguishes the happiness “over-achievers”? The study highlights several non-economic forces that seem to matter: job quality and meaningful work, a sense of autonomy and freedom, social connections and community engagement, and everyday enjoyment. These factors help explain why some societies—despite material limitations—are still able to sustain high levels of life satisfaction.

This study suggests that instead of focusing narrowly on economic growth as a key to human flourishing, governments and corporations might make targeted investments in community, meaningful work, personal freedom, and livable, lively cities and towns.

As Joshanloo concludes in a Greater Good essay, “Ultimately, building societies that prioritize the wise use of resources for human well-being may be the clearest path toward a more hopeful and humane future.”

But even when things seem inescapable or hard, it can be helpful to remember that we have personal agency in how we respond. Whether it’s managing our emotions better, improving our relationships, stretching ourselves in new directions, or envisioning a better future for all, we fare better when we don’t give into despair and take constructive, positive action. The science suggests taking care of ourselves can allow us to better face our collective challenges.

We hope this year’s selection of books will inspire you as they have us to become the change you want to see in the world.

Dealing with Feeling: Use Your Emotions to Create the Life You Want, by Marc Brackett

What is your relationship with your emotions on a daily basis?

Some of us might deny that we’re influenced by our feelings at all. Others might try to leave our emotions behind when we move into certain environments, like work or school. We may believe that particular emotions are “bad” or “negative”—and so aim to avoid them as much as possible.

But emotions are around whether we like them to be or not, explains Marc Brackett, founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, in his new book, Dealing with Feeling. Our skill in dealing with them will influence how much success and well-being we can attain.

His book explains how we can work with our emotions so they don’t get in the way of us achieving our goals or living the life we want. This involves working with our beliefs about emotions, the emotions themselves, how they show up in our bodies, and the thoughts that come with them—and reaching out to others for support. 

Emotion regulation is a skill that we should start learning in childhood, Brackett argues, but many of us must revisit it as adults because no one really showed or taught us how to practice it. 

How to Fall in Love with Questions: A New Way to Thrive in Times of Uncertainty by Elizabeth Weingarten

At the start of her new book, How to Fall in Love with Questions, behavioral psychologist Elizabeth Weingarten rejects the now-conventional wisdom that everyone should “embrace uncertainty.” While that approach might help some people in many circumstances, Weingarten suggests that humans “are programmed to try to dispel doubt and uncertainty”—and so telling people to do the opposite can actually lead to more anxiety, rumination, and paralysis.

Her alternative? To embrace not the uncertainty but rather the questions we confront throughout our lives. Her inspiration is the poet Rainer Maria Rilke, who in his 1929 book Letters to a Young Poet urges his interlocutor Franz Kappus “to have patience about everything that is still unresolved in your heart; try to love the questions themselves, liked locked rooms, like books written in a truly foreign language.”

Some questions can be answered easily, but some take a longer time—and some must be continually asked. The key is to construct the right questions and understand their place in your life.

For example, Weingarten describes starting out by wrestling with the question of whether she should stay in her relationship. And at a certain point, she realized that “Should I get a divorce?” was simply too binary. A good question needs to break out of binaries, and so she pivots to “What would have to change in order for us to stay together?” This question allowed her to have the right conversations with her husband, and so they were able to answer it together.

Weingarten calls this way of life “a method of truth-seeking” that is “characterized by patience and openness to new ideas.” Through a combination of scientific research and journalistic profiles of people who exemplify these qualities, Weingarten walks her readers through the many ways we can construct good questions and then carry them as we navigate ourselves and the world around us.

Life in Three Dimensions: How Curiosity, Exploration, and Experience Make a Fuller, Better Life, by Shigehiro Oishi

Many of us think happiness or meaning are the keys to a good life. But, in Shigehiro Oishi’s book Life in Three Dimensions, we learn about a third path: “psychological richness”—something that comes with seeking novel, complex, challenging experiences that alter your perspective.

“Psychological richness is really capturing change rather than stability, newness rather than familiarity,” says Oishi. “In that sense . . . it’s quite distinct from happiness and meaning.”

His research finds that people seeking psychologically rich experiences are more curious, knowledgeable, and wise. They’re also more apt to connect across differences, willing to move out of their comfort zone to explore and innovate.

His book tells stories of people like Oliver Sacks and Steve Jobs who famously lived psychologically rich lives. He also features everyday people who’ve pursued novelty and personal challenge, showing how they benefitted from stretching themselves in new ways.

Anyone can seek psychological richness, says Oishi, whether that’s trying out a new cuisine, deepening conversations, or learning a new language. Even those with happy, meaningful lives could experiment with adding more richness to help fill whatever may be missing from their lives.

Me, But Better: The Science and Promise of Personality Change, by Olga Khazan

Our personalities may seem fixed and unchanging. But, as Olga Khazan writes in Me but Better, research and personal experience suggest otherwise. Your personality can change and often does, through aging, experience, or deliberate effort (like therapy). That means you can become a different version of yourself.

Why change one’s personality? For Khazan, it was about being happier and healthier, while taking on new challenges in life. A self-proclaimed introvert and neurotic, she was sobered by research suggesting introversion makes you less happy, while neuroticism (a tendency toward worrying and emotional instability) puts you at greater risk for anxiety, depression, substance abuse, and dementia. Her desire to change led her to experiment with a “fake it ‘til you make it” approach, leaning into experiences aimed at increasing extraversion and decreasing neuroticism.

While we may not share Khazan’s goals, her book still offers a provocative, entertaining primer on the research behind personality change, as well as a wealth of tools for nudging yourself in different ways. Following her lead might not bring you a whole new personality, but even small changes could make a difference.

“A new and slightly improved personality, I learned, can make you happier, more successful, and more fulfilled,” writes Khazan. “It can help you enjoy your life, rather than just endure it.”

Outraged: Why We Fight About Morality and Politics and How to Find Common Ground, by Kurt Gray

Many of us are outraged today. We dig in our heels on abortion, vaccines, immigration, or gender—convinced we are morally right and the other side is dangerously wrong. We talk past each other, certain we’re protecting what matters most. And the other side feels exactly the same.

In Outraged: Why We Fight About Morality and Politics and How to Find Common Ground, psychologist Kurt Gray argues that our outrage doesn’t stem from fundamentally opposing values, but from a shared moral instinct: the drive to prevent harm.

Drawing on two decades of research and his work leading the Deepest Beliefs Lab at UNC Chapel Hill, Gray [now a professor at Ohio State University] shows that beneath every heated debate lies the same question: Who is being harmed? We aren’t divided because we disagree about morality’s essence; we’re divided because we disagree about who the victim is.

Gray challenges the idea that liberals and conservatives rely on different moral foundations. Instead, he argues that our “harm-based” moral minds—shaped over millennia of threat detection—interpret modern dangers differently. These competing perceptions fuel today’s polarized outrage.

Still, Outraged is ultimately hopeful. Gray offers tools like sharing personal harm stories and his C-I-V method (connect, invite, validate) to bridge divides.

Peril and Promise: College Leadership in Turbulent Times, by Beverly Daniel Tatum

American colleges are in crisis. Campus protests, financial worries, and White House demands are pressuring higher education leaders like never before. 

Peril and Promise speaks to these pressures. A psychologist by training, Beverly Daniel Tatum has worn many hats in higher education, from professor to trustee to interim president of Mount Holyoke College and president emeritus at Spelman College—a broad perspective that makes her uniquely poised to tackle the issues colleges are facing.

In 2012, for example, Spelman faced a dilemma—its NCAA program was draining resources, and the facilities were floundering. In response, Tatum launched a wellness initiative, replacing costly NCAA athletics with a campus-wide health and fitness program, boosting fitness class participation from 278 to over 1,300 students.  

It’s this out-of-the-box thinking that reveals Tatum’s original thinking and care for the students under her wing. Her vision for higher education—prioritizing holistic health, equity, and belonging—is what our leaders need, moving forward.

Superbloom: How Technologies of Connection Tear Us Apart, by Nicholas Carr

Many psychologists have sounded the alarm over social media and its damaging effects on our relationships and mental health. As Nicholas Carr chronicles in Superbloom, this is not some new phenomenon, but part of a historic trend. Many past improvements in communications technologies, like social media, have not lived up to their hype of creating a more connected world.

That’s because increased ease of communication is not necessarily better, he writes. For example, the personal information dumps we get from social media posts tend to make us like people less, not more. People tend to be less filtered when chatting online than in person, too, so that conversations can quickly become toxic and divisive.

Why do we engage anyway? We’re wired to seek out new information and confirm our place in the social hierarchy, says Carr, and these instincts are easily exploited by media companies.

“The algorithms read what triggers our attention, what grabs our attention, and, by proxy, seems to be what we desire, and then give us a lot of it,” says Carr.

By explaining how we’re being duped to tune in, Carr hopes to inspire people to use social media more wisely, prioritize in-person interactions, and exert more agency over how technology is regulated.

Talk: The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves, by Alison Wood Brooks

As humans, we’re talking to each other constantly. With all that practice, we must be pretty good at it—right? 

Not exactly. As a professor at Harvard Business School, Alison Wood Brooks teaches people how to have better conversations. In Talk: The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves, she debunks many of the widespread myths and assumptions that cause us to have less-than-stellar interactions. It turns out that many of our intuitions about how to talk to each other are off the mark, creating awkwardness, misunderstandings, and missed opportunities for connection. 

For example, it helps to prepare conversation topics in advance, even if we resist doing so, and people are more open to talking about deep or “negative” topics than we think. Switching topics frequently tends to make conversations better, and it’s highly unlikely you’ll ever ask too many questions. Almost no conversation will end when you or the other person wants it to—and that’s OK. 

As Brooks explains, conversation is a skill, and research findings can help us become better at it so our conversations are more enjoyable, more productive, and better at bringing us closer together. 

The Happiness Files: Insights on Work and Life, by Arthur C. Brooks

In his popular Atlantic magazine column, “How to Build a Life,” Harvard professor Arthur C. Brooks has explored the habits that help us cultivate greater meaning, contentment, and well-being.

His new book gathers 33 of those short essays, each one with a simple message. In one on  “treating your life like a startup,” for example, Brooks shares how the great entrepreneurs develop clarity, create intentional design, and have the courage to pivot, all of which are important skills to apply to your own life.  

In another, Brooks encourages us to consider starting with “no” as the default, reflecting on how saying “yes” might affect your own happiness (and your need for rest, focus, and meaning), and then making a conscious decision about the request. 

A major theme in the book is that we think happiness will come from status or achievements when, in reality, more lasting happiness comes from paying attention to relational matters like love, friendships, and community. The important thing is to take small steps.

As Brooks relates, “Humans get satisfaction not from arriving at a destination but rather from making tangible progress toward it…no matter what we call it, the key skill is to understand that the returns on life come from the strength of your intimate ties.”

What Matters Most: Lessons the Dying Teach Us About Living, by Diane Button

Most of us probably don’t want to think about the inevitability of dying. But there are important lessons to learn from facing our mortality, argues end-of-life doula Diane Button in What Matters Most.

The book is full of moving stories in which Button helps people manage the practical, emotional, and spiritual aspects of dying. By shepherding them through the process, she’s witnessed firsthand what people facing death care about most and what brings them peace and joy.

“When people are facing the end of life, everything that is superficial just gets stripped away,” she says. “You’re really focusing on love, relationship, healing, and, oftentimes, spirituality.”

She’s also seen many people needing to attend to unfinished business, like reconnecting with estranged loved ones, forgiving others, or preparing a legacy to leave behind. By revealing what people need when facing death, Button provides life lessons for us all.

“Talking about death is talking about life,” she says. “If you start to understand what, for you, is most important and what might be most meaningful for you at the end of life, then you can live differently now.”

Who Pays for Diversity: Why Programs Fail at Racial Equity and What to Do About It, by Oneya Fennell Okuwobi 

To prepare for the writing of Who Pays for Diversity?, University of Cincinnati sociologist Oneya Fennell Okuwobi interviewed employees of color in churches, universities, and corporations. 

She found something troubling. These employees were bearing hidden psychological and professional costs from becoming tokens and commodities in organizations that were pursuing diversity, as many organizations do, for image, legitimacy, or financial gain. Time and again, she found, these employees are asked to serve on extra committees, run diversity programs, and represent the organization in other ways. One Black wealth manager was pulled into so many client meetings that were unrelated to his job, just so the company could “look diverse.” As a result, his performance metrics suffered greatly.

Today, there is no dearth of critiques on the subject of diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI), and that’s probably a good thing. It turns out that it’s really hard to undo centuries of oppression, especially when Americans don’t see eye to eye on these issues. Okuwobi argues for replacing performative diversity with structural change and shared responsibility for equity—and helps all of us consider what a better workplace could look like.

Why Brains Need Friends: The Neuroscience of Social Connection, by Ben Rein

Having warm, close relationships is key to our physical and mental health. Why?

According to Ben Rein’s Why Brains Need Friends, our brains releases neurochemicals like oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine whenever we’re with people we love. The release of oxytocin alone has been tied to reducing stress, anxiety, and inflammation, and healing from wounds, making the health connections clear. But all three chemicals work in tandem to make sure we feel rewarded for and seek out warm relationships.

Other biological systems come into play, too. For example, we unconsciously mimic the expressions of other people we’re with, helping us to understand their feelings and have empathy. This doesn’t happen as easily online, which explains why it’s easier to make a close connection in person.

Our brains can also hinder our desire to reach out to strangers by underestimating how enjoyable it might be or overestimating the possibility of rejection. By understanding our strengths and limitations, we can learn to nurture the warm relationships we all need.

“The human brain has been shaped through evolution to reward us for connection and punish us for isolation,” he writes. “As such, we have so much to gain from socializing, and arguably even more to lose without it.”

Why Workplace Wellbeing Matters: The Science Behind Employee Happiness and Organizational Performance, by Jan-Emmanuel De Neve and George Ward

You’ve probably heard the phrase, “It’s called work for a reason,” right? It suggests work is supposed to be hard and torturous, so don’t expect more.

In Why Workplace Wellbeing Matters, economists Jan-Emmanuel de Neve and George Ward show why that view is so wrongheaded. By using rigorous research findings to make their case, they argue that investing in policies that support workforce well-being also creates competitive advantages for companies, such as talent acquisition, employee engagement, retention, innovation, and business cost savings and profitability—that is, key performance indicators or KPIs.

For their research, de Neve and Ward partnered with companies to systematically increase well-being among some employees and not others, and then examine the impact on KPIs. Consistently and across multiple studies, more well-being led to better outcomes. The authors even computed a stock market index that included the top 100 well-being scorers and documented their superior long-term performance over well-known S&P 500 and Nasdaq composites. 

Employee well-being improves the bottom line, write the authors, because it heightens productivity, strengthens relationships, fosters creativity, supports health, makes recruitment easier, and improves retention. By sharing methods and strategies for increasing well-being at work, their book provides both justification for and actionable approaches to companies seeking healthier, more profitable workplaces.

BONUS: Though we didn’t include it on our favorite books list, we’d be remiss if we didn’t mention our own book that came out this year, The Science of Happiness Workbook: 10 Practices for a Meaningful Life, which offers evidence-based practices for improving your personal and relational well-being. Read an excerpt.

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Click to jump to a section:

Holiday stress management
New ways to think about gifting and celebration
The psychology of generosity and gratitude
Raising generous, grateful kids
Looking ahead to the new year

Holiday stress management

• Six Simple Practices to Handle Holiday Stress: James Baraz explains how you can really enjoy the holidays.
• How to Slow Down and Savor the Holidays: Researcher Fred Bryant weighs in on the benefits of savoring the good during the holiday season.
• How to Survive the Holiday Shmear: Do you take shame and fear with you to family gatherings? Eve Ekman has some tips to help you get a grip.
• How to Set Boundaries When You’ve Never Been Taught How: What if your family’s cultural values don’t embrace the concept of boundaries? Here are 14 tips for boundary setting this holiday season.
• For Hard Conversations, Families Fall Into Four Categories: Holidays can involve family conflict, especially after a divisive election. The solution is empathy, for yourself and others.
• Three Easy Strategies for Dealing with Difficult Relatives: How does your family know how to push your buttons? Because they installed them. Here’s how to take stress out of the holidays.
• Two Surprising Ways to Make Your Holidays Less Stressful: We can find joy even if the holiday season doesn’t live up to our expectations.
• A Few Small Ways to Fight the Holiday Blues: While many of us look forward to the winter holidays, they sometimes make us feel down. Here are ways to lift your mood.

New ways to think about gifting and celebration

• 13 Simple, Non-Materialistic Ways to Find Joy Around the Holidays: Here are some ideas for cost-free activities and traditions that can bring you delight, connection, and happiness this time of year.
• How Psychology Can Help You Choose a Great Gift: New research offers some guidance for giving the perfect gift—one that will strengthen your relationships.
• How Everyday Rituals Can Add Meaning to Your Life: A new book illustrates how rituals can improve our lives and relationships, and how to create and recognize your own rituals.
• How to Overcome the Biggest Obstacle to Gratitude: We all take good things for granted, but we can take steps to keep gratitude alive.
• Four Tips for Mindful Eating Over the Holidays: It’s easy to overindulge during the holiday season. Here’s how to enjoy your food—without going too far!
• How Gratitude Beats Materialism: New studies reveal how to deliberately cultivate gratitude in ways that counter materialism and its negative effects.
• Eight Movies That Can Make Your Holiday More Meaningful: Here are movies that tackle some of the tough stuff behind the holidays with intelligence and wit.
• What Santa Can Teach Us About Children’s Brains: Yes, kids believe in Santa Claus—but they aren’t as gullible as you think.

The psychology of generosity and gratitude

• What Motivates You to Be Generous?: Recent research helps illuminate what’s going on in our heads when we choose to give or to hold back.
• How Our Brains Make Us Generous: A recent series of ground-breaking neuroscience studies suggest that empathy and altruism are deeply rooted in human nature.
• Why a Grateful Brain Is a Giving One: The neural connection between gratitude and altruism is very deep, suggests new research.
• Five Ways Giving Is Good for You: Here are some added incentives to get into the holiday spirit.
• How to Make Giving Feel Good: Studies show giving makes people happy, and happiness makes people give—but not always. Elizabeth Dunn and Michael Norton offer three ways to help people feel good about giving.
• Seven Tips for Fostering Generosity: It’s a time of giving. But can we make giving a way of life, all year round?
• How We Judge Other People’s Generosity—And Why It Matters: When we see a kind act, it might inspire us to be kind—depending on the emotions and judgments we have about it.
• Five Limits Your Brain Puts on Generosity: Research suggests that our brains may be wired for altruism, but there’s a catch—well, five of them, actually.
• Why We Need to Set Boundaries on Our Generosity: Generosity often begets fulfillment. But the best-intended giving mission can turn perilous if it undermines your well-being.
• The Science of Generosity: A white paper prepared for the John Templeton Foundation by the Greater Good Science Center.

Raising generous, grateful kids

• How to Inspire Your Kids to Be Generous: Parents can help their kids embrace the spirit of giving year-round, research suggests.
• How Generosity Shows Up in the Nervous System: New research explores how parenting and children’s physiology may influence how much they share.
• Why Are Some Children More Giving Than Others?: A new study finds the answer may lie with family income.
• Seven Ways to Foster Gratitude in Kids: Many parents and educators worry that today’s children are ungrateful. But new research suggests ways to turn the tide.
• Three Ways to Help Students Give Meaningful Gifts: Research has identified what makes some gifts more meaningful than others. Here’s how teachers can help their students get beyond elbow macaroni and glue.

Looking ahead to the new year

• How Thinking About the Future Makes Life More Meaningful: Research suggests that thinking about the future—a process known as prospection—can help us lead more generous and fulfilled lives.
• How to Make Your Year More Meaningful: Here are some steps you can take to find meaning in the previous year—and purpose in the next one.
• What Will the Theme of Your Life Be in the Next Year?: As you set goals for the new year, take a moment to consider your larger life narrative.
• Should You Let Go of Any Goals in the New Year?: Here’s how to predict which of your goals will feel meaningful and achievable.
• Make Self-Compassion One of Your New Year’s Resolutions: Many of us instinctively beat ourselves up for failing to meet our goals, but there is an alternative.
• How to Choose Goals That Make You Come Alive: Research on the components of well-being can help us choose goals that we’ll stick to.
• How to Make New Year’s Resolutions That Feel Good: Christine Carter offers three steps to success in keeping your New Year’s resolutions.
• How to Use Your Unconscious Mind to Achieve Your Goals: The most effective way to change your behavior for the better is to work in tandem with your unconscious mind.
• To Change Yourself, Change Your World: If you want to keep a New Year’s resolution, says the research, start by changing your environment.
• How Habits Can Get in the Way of Your Goals: Habits are key to achieving your goals—but only if you don’t get tired of them, research suggests.
• How to Avoid Slipping Back into Bad Habits: Making New Year’s resolutions? New research suggests you should prize the journey, not the destination.

But a new study suggests that experiencing positive feelings with others may be even more powerful for our health. In this research, this kind of “positive emotional resonance” or “shared positivity” within couples had benefits beyond what their personal happiness could provide.

“Sharing in positive emotions with your relationship partner is really meaningful,” says the lead author of the study, Tomiko Yoneda of the University of California, Davis. “Even those small moments of joy or social connection can have a supportive effect on your physiology and, basically, support better health as we age.”

How sharing positivity affects us

In this study, 321 couples in Germany and Canada (642 people in total, all 56 to 89 years old) reported on how satisfied they were with their relationship before monitoring their emotions for a week. Five to seven times per day, participants were prompted to report (separately, but at the same time as their partners) how happy, relaxed, and interested they were feeling in that moment and if they were with their partner or not. Couples who were together and both experiencing stronger-than-average positive feelings were considered to be experiencing emotional resonance, which occurred about 38% of the time couples were in each other’s presence.

At each report time, participants also took a sample of their saliva and froze it, so researchers could later test the samples for cortisol—a hormone released during stress. And they reported whether they’d recently taken medications; consumed food, alcohol, or caffeine; or smoked, taken a cold shower, brushed their teeth, or engaged in physical activity—all of which can impact cortisol levels.

This resulted in a rich data set, including 23,931 separate measurements of feelings and cortisol levels, which Yoneda and her team then analyzed. They found that whenever couples experienced emotional resonance, their cortisol level was lower than their own personal norm for that time of day, and lower than when they experienced positive emotion alone. This was true regardless of their age, gender, average level of happiness, and overall relationship satisfaction.

“The effect of co-experienced positive emotions was over and beyond the effect of individually experienced emotions,” says Yoneda. “Individually experienced positive emotions are linked with lower cortisol, but even more so when those positive emotions are shared with their relationship partner.”

When looking at the three emotions individually, Yoneda and her team found that couples co-experienced happiness and relaxation more than shared interest, and that sharing interest alone was not tied to lower cortisol. Yoneda is not sure why that would be, but it’s possible that interest is more arousing or activating than the other two emotions, she says, which might cancel out its relaxing effects.

She also looked at how the way couples felt and reacted at one moment affected what happened afterward. She found that lower cortisol reactions tended to last later in the day, despite people not being together. Also, shared positivity at one time led to lower cortisol levels later, but the reverse was not true. This means that sharing positivity could help drive a healthier cortisol response overall, says Yoneda.

“Chronically elevated cortisol is associated with all kinds of negative health outcomes. So, if there’s something helping to diminish cortisol, that can be also helpful for our health,” she says.

One surprising finding in the study was that this effect on cortisol still occurred for people who were less satisfied with their relationship. Yoneda was a bit surprised by the finding, but also pleased, as it may mean shared positivity helps even stressed couples.

“I would’ve expected this effect to be stronger in couples reporting higher relationship satisfaction,” she said. “But we saw these effects across the board, which means those calming, health-related effects of shared positive emotions aren’t just limited to the happiest couples.”

Increasing shared positivity might be a good goal for us all

This is not the first study to find that positivity resonance is good for our well-being. For example, one prior study found that couples who demonstrated positivity resonance through their words, non-verbal gestures, and more while discussing the ups and downs in their relationship tended to live significantly longer than those who had fewer shared positivity moments.

But Yoneda’s work contributes to this research by showing how positivity resonance might play out in real life, rather than in a lab. It also may explain why having warm relationships over time has been found to contribute to longevity.

“This could be one mechanism: Sharing in positive emotions with someone close to you is decreasing your physiological response [to stress],” she says. “There might be some coping mechanisms there, some co-regulation occurring, that’s contributing to healthier aging.”

Though Yoneda and her team studied only cohabitating couples for practical reasons—the couples would naturally have frequent contact and be able to give saliva samples easily—she hopes to study how shared positivity between any two people could provide health benefits.

“It’d be great to see how this effect happens in friendships or work colleagues or family members or even strangers,” says Yoneda. “This is speculative, but these effects might generalize across other relationships and social connections.”

If her findings hold in those circumstances, it could have broader implications, suggesting that we look for opportunities to share positive emotions in all of our relationships. Meanwhile, it probably makes sense to at least try to share more positivity with anyone we love—for their sake and for ours.

“Leaning into those shared moments of connection, of positive emotions and happiness, can have small but meaningful effects, and those effects probably do accumulate over time,” says Yoneda.