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Compassionate Love Quiz

You might love your partner truly, madly, deeply. But do you love compassionately?

To find out—and get tips for becoming a more compassionate partner—take this quiz, which is adapted from a scale developed by researchers Susan Sprecher and Beverley Fehr.

Please answer the below questions as honestly as possible; there are no right or wrong answers. For the first 15 questions, please indicate how much you agree or disagree with each statement.

The last five questions are about you, and they'll be used by our research team to better understand how compassionate love relates to factors like age and gender.

When you're done, you'll get your score, learn more about the benefits of compassionate love, and find resources for bringing more compassion into your relationship.

Any responses submitted here will never be shared with any organization outside the Greater Good Science Center under any circumstances, ever. All responses are anonymized and only used in aggregate for evaluation purposes.

 
1. When I see my partner feeling sad, I feel a need to reach out to them.
When I see my partner feeling sad, I feel a need to reach out to them.
2. I spend a lot of time concerned about the well-being of my partner.
I spend a lot of time concerned about the well-being of my partner.
3. It is easy for me to feel the pain (and joy) experienced by my partner.
It is easy for me to feel the pain (and joy) experienced by my partner.
4. If my partner needs help, I would do almost anything I could to help him or her.
If my partner needs help, I would do almost anything I could to help him or her.
5. I would rather suffer myself than see my partner suffer.
I would rather suffer myself than see my partner suffer.
6. If given the opportunity, I am willing to sacrifice in order to let my partner achieve their goals in life.
If given the opportunity, I am willing to sacrifice in order to let my partner achieve their goals in life.
7. One of the activities that provides me with the most meaning in my life is helping my partner.
One of the activities that provides me with the most meaning in my life is helping my partner.
8. I would rather engage in actions that help my partner than engage in actions that would help me.
I would rather engage in actions that help my partner than engage in actions that would help me.
9. I often have tender feelings toward my partner when they seem to be in need.
I often have tender feelings toward my partner when they seem to be in need.
10. I accept my partner even when they do things I think are wrong.
I accept my partner even when they do things I think are wrong.
11. If my partner is troubled, I usually feel extreme tenderness and caring.
If my partner is troubled, I usually feel extreme tenderness and caring.
12. I try to understand rather than judge my partner.
I try to understand rather than judge my partner.
13. I try to put myself in my partner’s shoes when he or she is in trouble.
I try to put myself in my partner’s shoes when he or she is in trouble.
14. I feel happy when I see that my partner is happy.
I feel happy when I see that my partner is happy.
15. I want to spend time with my partner so that I can find ways to help enrich their life.
I want to spend time with my partner so that I can find ways to help enrich their life.
16. What is your age?
What is your age?
17. In terms of your gender identity, do you see yourself as:
In terms of your gender identity, do you see yourself as:
18. What is your marital status?
What is your marital status?
19. How long have you been in your current relationship?
How long have you been in your current relationship?
20. What is your sexual orientation?
What is your sexual orientation?