VIDEOSBridging Differences for Teens and Parents

Scroll down for a transcription of this video. 

One way that can help teens become more open to bridging differences with people who are different is nurturing an underlying belief that it’s worthwhile to notice and appreciate a range of backgrounds, experiences, and points of view. As parents, when we talk with our teens about times when different perspectives and life journeys have helped solve both small and large problems, we can help build up their awareness of why and how diversity is valuable.

In this video, Dhaarmika will take a first step in talking with her teens Sonali and Nina about why it’s important to nurture a mindset that values diversity.

Learn more about this "Nurture a Diversity Mindset in Teens" practice and others with step-by-step guidance at our library of research-based practices to support teens to learn how to bridge differences.

This is the sixth video in our "Parenting to Nurture Skills to Bridge Differences" series.

Facilitator | Dhaarmika Coelho, Founder of Camp Kindness Counts
Production Company | Anaconda Street Productions
Partners on the Bridging Differences Parenting Practices | Generation Citizen and Making Caring Common

Transcription

DHAARMIKA: My name is Dhaarmika. I have two teenage daughters.

SONALI: My name is Sonali. I am 15 years old, and I like to spend time with my friends and bake and read.

NINA: My name is Nina. I'm 13 years old, and I really like to read and play with my dog.

DHAARMIKA: They are both complete opposites. [LAUGHS] One of them, Nina, is super talkative, super outgoing, very curious and adventurous.

NINA: My mom and I have a great communication. If I have a bad day at school, I can just talk to her about it.

DHAARMIKA: And Sonali is quiet, and she's a thinker. And she's very observant and very thoughtful in a different way.

SONALI: I think we mostly communicate kind of. I mean, [LAUGHS] we talk in the car, and we talk at home and stuff. But it's hard to find time sometimes.

DHAARMIKA: They both help each other grow in different ways, and I learned from them constantly.

DHAARMIKA: In this video, I'll take a first step in talking with my teen Sonali and Nina about why it's important to nurture a mindset that values diversity. The nurture of value diversity mindset in teens' activity is a conversation that begins with questions like what does diversity mean to each of you? How is diversity an important value for your family? Why? How can a lack of diversity lead to inequity and injustice?

DHAARMIKA: Since you guys were little, you guys have been exposed to lots of different people in our community from different cultural backgrounds and ages and all sorts of things. And now, you both are teenagers. And I am curious and really want to learn about your experience and what you see in school and in the community when it comes to diversity. Do you think it's important to be surrounded by diverse community?

SONALI: Yeah.

NINA: Yeah.

DHAARMIKA: Yeah. Why do you think it's important?

SONALI: You can learn a lot from different types of people.

NINA: I think it's really important to embrace diversity because it helps everyone to see what other people have gone through. And when other people understand other's points of view or opinions on the same thing, then it can help them see what it's like for other people.

SONALI: Everybody has different experiences. And if you don't recognize that, then you're not learning about the world.

DHAARMIKA: I don't think it was like in my mind saying, I have to teach them about diversity. And it's just what is a natural interest to me. I've always gravitated towards just meeting different people and always sharing with them that we can always learn from different people.

It doesn't matter how old you are, what gender you are, where you're from. It's so important to learn from each other and gain different perspectives from each other because of the world we live in. And my girls have grown up in this. I thought this was just their world, and they're going to grow up to be these really kind, empathetic, compassionate people. And they are. But I'm not the only person in their world. [LAUGHS] And I was shocked as a parent, especially considering I live and breathe this about something that happened at the school.

One of my girls was like, oh, well, Mom, that student gets in trouble a lot. And they're never at school, and they don't really try. And I don't know. And so she had these negative thoughts about this person that she doesn't even know. And I've taught them the opposite of that. [LAUGHS]

So here I am as a parent. Wait, what? What just happened? And I asked her, do you know her story? Everyone has their own story and a different story, and we don't know what that story is until we ask them. And so when you stop and you think about that and you wonder, how do you feel when you take the time to wonder and be curious about maybe their life?

NINA: I don't know. Maybe she doesn't get that much attention at home, so she tries to get more attention at school.

DHAARMIKA: Does it make you feel a little bit not as irritated then to thinking that maybe there's something maybe she doesn't get much attention at home and that's why? Yeah. How about you, Sonali?

SONALI: Yeah, I was going to say what you said. It makes it less like you're not as focused on why you're mad at them or why it's annoying.

DHAARMIKA: Instead of being mad or annoyed, what are you focused on then about them?

SONALI: You just think about what might be going on and how you can help them.

DHAARMIKA: Yeah. So maybe more compassionate thoughts and empathetic thoughts. There's a community of us. That's why it's so important that the community is mindful and aware of our actions and what we're doing and what we're teaching and what we're saying, how we're treating each other. Because these minds are very easily influenced and can change. I think our words really matter, and how we treat everyone, it really matters.

NINA: I feel like people might be afraid of things that are different from them because they don't know what it's like. So if someone's just really completely different beliefs, completely different ideas and opinions, then they might be afraid because they have no idea what it's like. It's completely unknown to them. And I think we can fix that by just spreading the idea of diversity and telling the world that it's a good thing.

Getting to know other people is a good thing. If you're afraid of what their ideas might be, just talk to them about it. They might not know what your ideas are. And then once you both learn about each other, then you might become friends, and you'll see that it's just a good thing.

SONALI: Bridging differences is important to me because you're able to connect with a lot of different people and learn about their past. I think it's interesting how we all still grow up kind of similarly. Even if they're from different cultures, we still have the same experiences with our parents and siblings and all of that, even if we come from different places.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

DHAARMIKA: The one thing that sets humans aside from other species or animals or whatever is we can empathize. We are born into this world actually being able to notice that someone might need some help. We're supposed to use our brain in a certain way in our hearts. We are wired like this. When we're closed off to that, then we're really not being human. And I am a parent at the end of the day, learning. [LAUGHS]

[MUSIC PLAYING]