PODCAST

Scroll down for a transcription of this episode.

Research shows that reflecting on our shared humanity can increase self-compassion and life satisfaction while reducing feelings of isolation. In this practice, Dacher Keltner guides us to look beneath our differences and connect with the qualities that make us human together.

This guided exercise draws on a meditation by Sean Fargo, a mindfulness teacher and former Buddhist monk.

How To Do This Practice:

1. Settle your body: Sit comfortably and take a few slow, steady breaths. Let your shoulders drop, soften your jaw, and allow your body to feel supported by the ground or chair beneath you.
2. Notice what’s here: Briefly scan your body and emotions. Whatever you’re feeling—calm, tense, distracted, open—simply acknowledge it without trying to change it.
3. Bring someone to mind: Think of someone you don’t know well, feel distant from, or have mild tension with. Picture them as if they were in front of you.
4. Reflect on your similarities: Silently repeat phrases like: This person has a body and mind, just like me; this person has felt sadness, joy, and pain, just like me; this person wants to be safe, loved, and understood, just like me.
5. Gently extend kind intentions toward them: May you be well. May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you live with ease.
6. Return and reflect: Bring your attention back to your breath and body. Notice if anything has shifted—perhaps a softening, a little more space, or a sense of connection—and carry that awareness into your day.

This episode was supported by a grant from The John Templeton Foundation on Spreading Love Through the Media.

Related Happiness Break episodes:

A Meditation for When You Feel Uneasy: https://tinyurl.com/4x27ut3p

A Meditation to Connect With Your Roots: https://tinyurl.com/ycy9xazc

A Mindful Breath Meditation, With Dacher Keltner: https://tinyurl.com/mr9d22kr

Related The Science of Happiness episodes:  

Why Compassion Requires Vulnerability: https://tinyurl.com/yxw4uhpf

How to Feel More Hopeful: https://tinyurl.com/4tfwhbpb

How Holding Yourself Can Reduce Stress: https://tinyurl.com/2hvhkwe6

Follow us on Instagram: @ScienceOfHappinessPod

We’d love to hear about your experience with this practice! Share your thoughts at happinesspod@berkeley.edu or use the hashtag #happinesspod.

Find us on Apple Podcasts: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aap

Help us share Happiness Break! Leave a 5-star review and share this link: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aap

Transcription:

DACHER KELTNER:  This episode was supported by a grant from the John Templeton Foundation on Spreading Love Through the Media.

Welcome to Happiness Break, where we spend a few minutes to deepen our connection with ourselves, our communities, and our environment. I'm Dacher Keltner. Today, we're trying a practice that can not only improve our wellbeing, but also help us build compassion and identify more with all of humanity. Shifting our attention from differences to similarities, realizing that even people who seem very different from us in fundamental ways are just like us, can become the basis of real connection. It's possible to develop a sense of compassion and understanding by reflecting on our shared feelings and experiences as human beings, and there are so many reasons why we should do this.

Research shows people who reflect on their common humanity report more self-compassion, and life satisfaction, and less isolation. Studies have also found that thinking about our commonalities increases our compassion for others, from our students to healthcare workers. This guided exercise draws on a meditation by Sean Fargo, a mindfulness teacher, and former Buddhist monk.

So when you're ready, let's begin.

Take a moment to allow your body to settle in a comfortable position, inviting a sense of ease and relaxation throughout your body. Breathe full, deep breaths with a soft belly. Feeling grounded by feeling the weight of your body on the ground, or your chair. Dropping your shoulders, softening your hands, and relaxing the muscles of your face and jaw. Gently closing your eyes or looking downward just to limit visual distractions.

Allow yourself to take a deep breath in and a long breath out, and as you breathe out, allowing a sense of releasing any tension that you're holding in your body. As you breathe briefly, scan through your body with your awareness, noticing any sensations or emotions, inviting a sense of spaciousness and acceptance for whatever you're experiencing right now.

Now, bring someone to mind who you don't know really well. Maybe someone who seems very distant or different from you, even someone you're in a minor conflict with.

And as you bring to mind this person you may not like or know very well, just notice if you experience any shift in sensation in your body. Holding this person in mind as if they're right in front of you, say to yourself, “This person has a body and mind, just like me. This person has feelings, emotions, and thoughts — just like me. This person at some point in their life has been sad, disappointed, angry, hurt, or confused — just like me. This person has in their life experienced physical and emotional pain and suffering — just like me. This person has experienced moments of peace, joy, and happiness — just like me. This person wishes to have fulfilling relationships — just like me. This person wishes to be healthy and loved — just like me.”

Now take a moment to sense how you're feeling as you hold this person in your awareness. Continuing to hold this person in mind, send them good wishes. May they be well, may they be happy, may they be healthy. May they live with ease.

Now shifting your awareness back to your breath, breathing in through your nose, breathing out slowly through your mouth. Reconnecting with your body, feeling present, alive and connected. Right here, right now.

Thank you for joining me in this Common Humanity practice. Have a great day.