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Tuesday Tip: Feel Madly in Love

December 4, 2012 | Tuesday Tips | 0 comments

One thing you can do today to be happier.

The GGSC's coverage of gratitude is sponsored by the John Templeton Foundation as part of our Expanding Gratitude project. The GGSC's coverage of gratitude is sponsored by the John Templeton Foundation as part of our Expanding Gratitude project.

A buddy recently stopped by for tea to tell me all about his new love — a whirlwind 50-something romance, a second great love after the death of his beloved wife of 25 years. This is someone who has written books about relationships, a guy who has actually figured out how to make a marriage great. He said something that really struck me.

“I text her three things every day:
“I love you.
“You are beautiful.
“And thank you.”

(A side confession: After I heard this, my go-to reaction was an envious wish that my guy would send me texts like this throughout the day, NOT that I could start texting him. So much easier to wish others would change than to take action ourselves.)

Anyhoo, the happiness tip here is that my friend is actually increasing HIS OWN feelings of being in love.

When my friend texts his wife, he is cultivating his own feelings of gratitude, as well as expressing them. Research suggests that when we cultivate feelings of gratitude towards our sweethearts, we feel more satisfied with our relationship, and our partners feel more connected to us and more satisfied with the relationship, too.

Expressing gratitude (rather than just fostering the feeling) to a romantic partner can also make us feel more satisfied with the relationship and increase our sense of responsibility for our partner’s well-being.

Take Action: Reflect on what you are grateful for in your honey right now. (And maybe even send a text!)

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This tip was originally published on www.christinecarter.com.
© 2012 Christine Carter, Ph.D.

 
 
 
 
  

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Tuesday Tip: Let Yourself Feel What You Feel

August 30, 2011 | Tuesday Tips | 0 comments

One thing you can do today to be happier.

When we feel stressed out (or sad or disappointed, for that matter) life offers a host of ways to not really feel those negative feelings. (For example: drugs and alcohol. Facebook. Staying really busy.)

The problem is that when we numb unpleasant feelings, we numb everything that we are feeling. So to feel the positive things in life—like love, or even just contentment—we must also let ourselves feel fear, grief, and frustration.

So today, let yourself FEEL whatever it is that you are feeling, without numbing it. Where in your body does it live? Is it in the pit of your stomach? In your throat? What, really, does it feel like?

© 2011 Christine Carter, Ph.D.

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Tuesday Tip: Get Enough Sleep

August 23, 2011 | Tuesday Tips | 0 comments

One thing you can do today to be happier.

Sleep is one of the most important happiness habit habits we know of. Lack of sleep, of course, affects our functioning and our moods in a multitude of ways. Sleep deprivation can make us depressed, reactive, and inattentive. It can also impair our memory and learning, slow reaction times, and curb creative thinking.

If you aren’t regularly getting enough sleep, get eight or more hours of shut-eye tonight! Make your room really dark, turn of the phones, and hit the hay earlier than you usually do.

© 2011 Christine Carter, Ph.D.

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